I really don’t know how to word this or what I’m searching for but I really need…

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I really don’t know how to word this or what I’m searching for but I really need some advice on what to do as I have no one else to turn to, I’m literally on my own and don’t know what I’m going to do if anyone has any advice that would be great!
I have sort of split with my partner as we have had a long line of run ins, mainly about his 2 other children who we have 2/3 times per week, now he allows the children to do as they please, cause trouble and tell tales to their mum. Which then causes a lot of trouble as we agree to set boundaries and rules which he then goes against. He has told his children to hide sweets from me etc as I made a point of saying that they shouldn’t be getting rewarded for their bad behaviour. I’ve not said they can’t have some sweets etc but boundaries need to be set as we have a child together who has to go by our rules. I was young when I took his two children on and I love them as my own, I’ve done all I can for them in terms of treating them equal and making them feel loved in our home. I have said that they need to stop stirring and saying things about our home that isn’t true to their mum (they also tell us lies about what happens at their mums)

My partner has turned round and said that he should be able to make every decision about his children and I should not be involved however I believe I should as it is our home and it is affecting our child. However he is okay with me looking after them and buying for them but not having a say on anything else. Is this right? Now this weekend just gone we had his children and I went out for a day with friend and her children this is the first time I have been out alone without his children and him literally, now I came home an hour early than what I said when we spoke on the phone, and I said to my friend see you tomorrow when I got dropped off, he went in a mood as I never told him where I was going the next day as soon as I arrived home as I never had a chance to say as he went on one before I could even take my shoes off, he also went mad as i didn’t tell him I was coming home early as it would have been ‘courtesy’ to tell him but it’s my home I don’t see why I have to say I’m going to be early we had his children so I knew he was home. All of that was cos I went out without him and his kids for the first time. I said I wanted to leave and I got told he’d knock me out before I left with his child. I feel as though all he has done is hurt me, when we first got together he was messaging numerous other women, he has lied about so many things. He doesn’t really help with anything I have to tell him to bath as he won’t in over a week.
I suppose I just want some advice on whether I should leave or whether I’m in the wrong about wanting to have a say on what goes on in our home especially when our child is treated different. I almost died when I had our child and he was going to have his kids overnight to keep his ex happy whilst I was lying in a hospital bed and I needed him, and I just feel like he’s never there for me. I feel like I might be in the wrong I don’t know I just want to be happy I don’t know anyone as I moved to a new city for him and have no family I can go to. Please advise I hope this makes sense.
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