šš¼Florrieās Storyš¼š
17 weeks 3 days pregnant I was assaulted in the kitchen of my home by my ex and the āFatherā to my 3-year-old daughter. I was already having a bleed due to the miscarriage of her twin a few weeks before. I canāt go into detail about the assault but the babyās waters ruptured. Going upstairs I discovered I was soaking wet and there was blood everywhere. The only thing I could think was āThatās it. Itās game overā!! I rang the hospital and was taken in.
I had internals,scans etc etc and then I was told āIām so sorry Amie. The babyās waters have ruptured and thereās nothing we can do but wait for the labour process to begin or have a medically induced terminationā!! I was absolutely heartbroken šI decided to go home and wait for the inevitable to happen. I didnāt want to stay in hospital and I definitely didnāt want to kill my own baby!! I wanted to be at home with my daughters.
My ex partner was arrested from my home and me and the girls went to stay with my mum for a couple of days. I had a scan booked for 2 days later if I hadnāt gone into labour already. I hadnāt!! I went for my scan at Fetal Medical Assessment and they told me that the babies waters were definitely ruptured and that I had Placenta Preva. They told me my Placenta was completely covering the babyās exit and that if I had wanted a termination I couldnāt have one anyway because the baby would have to be born by Csection or Iād hemmorage and quite possibly bleed to death!!
Scary times šOther than her Waters been ruptured my baby was doing well for now but it was early days so the problems wouldnāt kick-start straight away and I was told to prepare for the worst. I was absolutely shattered!! I never went into labour though. I didnāt know the sex of my baby till the day she was born because there was so little fluid we couldnāt see. Even through all the stress,the constant worry and the heartache I just wanted to know whether my baby was Team Pink or Team Blue ššIt was the āNormalā things that kept me going.
Every 2 days I had to go into hospital for obs,blood test to check my infection markers etc. Always went okay. Never caught any infections despite constantly losing fluid and having bleeds all the time with the Placenta Preva. Obs were always good,baby was always active during scans and she was still alive. That was the main thing!! Fast forward to 20 weeks pregnant and going to my 20 weeks scan. Changes had started taking place. Her lungs were on the small side and her heart was slightly enlarged and she had Tepeles (Club foot) all due to lack of fluid.
I was then referred for all my scans to take place at Fetal Medical Assessment at the LGI and that would be where babyās birth would be taking place as they were more equipped to deal with her birth there. I had Fetal Medical scans every week and although we had bad weeks we had some good weeks too but her prognosis was never good. They told me the chances were highly likely that Florrie wouldnāt make it out alive but if she did she would be Trachea dependant for the rest of her life and that her life wouldnāt be a long one. They told me she had an enlarged heart with fluid surrounding it (Possible Cardiomyopathy) Potters Syndrome,Teples and she would be born cramped up as she had been squashed with no water for however long the pregnancy went on.
I was sat down after one scan and told āAmie. Weāre quite concerned that your developing Placenta Cretaā. On the scan it had shown a space about as thick as a finger nail between my Placenta and previous section scar tissue and I was referred for a MRI the following day. I went home and did my research and didnāt like what Iād learnt šThat night I had to go to hospital with another bleed. I had to go to hospital with every bleed as any bleed could be a dangerous bleed and I could hemorrhage at any time. They kept me in as the blood flow didnāt slow as quickly as it previously had before. I was carefully monitored and the MRI the next day went ahead.
Later that night back on the ward the man who did the scan came to see me with heās team. I could tell by their faces that it was bad news. Luckily my mum was with me. I just blurted out āIām attachedĀ arenāt Iā!! šThey pulled the curtains round and all gathered around. He sat on my bed and he said āAmie.. Iām so sorry to tell you this but youāve got Stage 4 Placenta Cretaā! Iām sat there thinking about what iv read on the Internet and heās saying summat about Stage 4. And Iām just thinking āWhat the fuck is he even on aboutā?? He goes on to tell me āIv never seen anything like this in all my 30 years in medical practise and were going to have to draft in some doctors from oversees before we can even think about delivering your baby. Amie Iām so sorry to have toĀ say this but your life is now at serious risk and we would strongly advise you and your family to prepare yourselves for the worstā!!
I canāt remember much after that. I just know I didnāt cry. I turned to my mum and she was just in absolute pieces. She was how I was when I was told Florrie might not make it. I gave her the biggest cuddle and I told her āDonāt you be sat there mum listening to these fukin idiots because Iām not going anywhereā!! I never shed not one single tear. I had to be the strong one now. I told them āI understood everything they had said and when could I go homeā. He told me I could go home the next day providing my blood loss had stopped. It did and home I went. I carried on with life like you do and I just thought āFlorrieās what matters at minute and making sure I keep life as normal as possible for the kidsā.
I didnāt tell my kids I might die. Itās something they didnāt need to know. Fast forward to 29 weeks 2 days pregnant by this point Iād learnt I had Placenta Preva,Stage 4 Placenta Creta,my Placenta was not only attached to my previous section scar tissue it was also attached to my womb,my Uterus, my Cervix. It was like a sling inside my belly (Their words) I got took into hospital with another bleed. I was put on the monitor and her heart rate and slowed and changes were taking place so I was admitted to the Labour Ward. My team came to see me and said a doctor from the Netherlands was on heās way to England and he would arrive sometime early morning to assist the operation.
I would be going to theater at 11 oāclock 29th March 2017. Iām not going to lie I was absolutely shitting myself but I turned round and just said āOK love thatās good with meā!! He then told me Iād be kept on monitor all night and that Iād not to lay flat on my back. I sent my mum home for some sleep and told her to be back for 8 the next morning. I didnāt sleep that night I sat in the chair at the side of my bed cuddling a Pink furry rabbit babygro that both Ruby and Elsie had worn to come home from hospital in.. And I cried and cried and cried!!!
All I could think was āI might never see my daughters again. I might not even get to meet my baby. I might never see my mum, my brothers or my sister ever again. Next time they see me I might be laid there dead with my dead baby in my armsā!! I rang my mum and I said āMum if me and the baby do die will you promise me one thing? That we get put together in the same coffin and if sheās a girl please call her Florrie after my grandmaā.
My mum might lose not only her grand baby but her daughter tooā!! And Iād just sent her home to get some sleep šI can remember going for a bath about 7 oāclock the next morning and then I was scanned at 8 oāclock.. Florrie had her leg in her hand and was putting it above her head. I can remember saying āSheās going to be a gymnast when sheās older and laughing with the doctorā!! My mum arrived at 8 and then at 9 oāclock I was scanned by my Consultant Tom so he could mark up where my incision was going to be.
Scan started I seen my baby move. We heard her heart beat although it was a little low and there was gaps between beats. I remember thinking āThis might be the last time I ever get to hear that sound or see her imageā then Tom goes āIām just off to go get another member of the teamā. I didnāt think anything of it. In they come scan continues sound gets turned off and he turns the screen to him. Iām just thinking heās measuring up to see where Iām getting cut. One doctor goes out. Tomās deep in concentration. He never said a word. There was a deathly silence in the room. Then something started to not feel right. I felt uneasy. Next thing so many doctors came rushing through the door they almost didnāt fit in the room. Their all gathered round the screen talking in hushed tones.
I just know somethings badly wrong here but I was so calm its unreal. Tom looks at me with the most saddest look. I said āTom what wrong.. Something is wrong isnāt itā? He said āAmie Iām so so so sorry. Amie the baby has just goneā!!
Again that deathly blood curdling scream that left my body i willĀ never unhear. Iād literally just watched my baby pass away on the screen š12 weeks to the day my baby had battled in the womb to stay alive and on the morning of her section she had passed away. Totally heartbreaking šMy mum must have rung my family because I remember them turning up. I remember us all been outside. I canāt remember what got said or anything. I was a complete and utter mess!! I said bye to them all and I walked back up to the Labour Ward with my mum and my team were at front desk I said āIām ready to go to theater now and have my babyā!!
I got out the outfit I wanted my baby to wear,the scenting blanket Iād spent the night scenting up incase I didnāt get to meet her and I passed the nurse her blanket and told her to make sure she was cleaned up,dressed and wrapped in her blanket for me. I was prepped for theater and I said my goodbyes to my mum just incase I didnāt see her again.. I was put to sleep. In theater I gave birth at 29 weeks 3 days to my beautiful baby girl Florrie-Mae born sleeping at 12.50pm weighing 1Ib 15.5oz on 29.03.17 šš¼
I lost my full bodyās supply of blood, I had all my blood replaced,I had to have a Hysterectomy, my Uterus and some of my cervix was also removed. At one point they went out and told my mum Iād had a little girl and it got that bad in theater they told my mum things were really bad and they were doing all they could to save me but she had to prepare for the worst because it wasnāt looking good. She must have rang my family and they a turned up at that point. At one point they were going to give up but the doctor from the Netherlands stepped in and performed an emergency Arterial block and put me on a Self Saver machine.
I was in theater 8 and a half hours. I came out on full life support in an induced coma and transferred to ICU ā¦. But I was alive. Only just. They told me it was a miracle. I now do believe in miracles šCanāt keep a warrior down for long. 36 hours later I woke up. As soon as the ventilator was out I said āI had a little girl didnāt Iā? The doctor said āYeah you did Amieā. I just said āI bloody knew itā! š¤£I asked when I could have her and they said as soon as we can get some of these tubes out of you so I said āWell you better make a start then havenāt you loveā š From waking up to leaving ICU it took me 2 hours. I wasnāt messing around lol.
Arriving at HDU they got me settled and then they brought my daughter to me. Iād waited so long for this cuddle. She got passed to me and I swear to god she was gorgeous. She looked like she had been crying š¢ I remember saying āIām so sorry Florrie. Iām so sorry I couldnāt protect you. But I promise you Iām going to fight like fuck for you babyā!!! And here I am. Fighting like fuck to get my daughter the justice she deserves. The man responsible for her death is going on trial in 2019 for charges I canāt discuss.
My Florrie will be 2 years and 2 months old when it takes place. Its been a long hard battle but iv got it this far and I donāt intend to give up now!! I promised Florrie she wouldnāt die for absolutely nothing and so I set up Florrieās Army š š¼My daughter may not be here but she will sure never be forgotten. I believe she got given to me because she had some work that needed to be done and she picked me to do it šI got hand picked from Heaven by the most perfect little angel ever š¼Sheās doing amazing things from Heaven and while ever Iām here Florrieās Army will be here xxxxxxxx https://www.facebook.com/Florries-Army-In-Rememberance-Page-123309771943179/