I’m Not The Mum That Watches My Kids

I’m not the Mum that watches my kids 24/7, I often watch from a distance with my feet up and a glass of wine in my hand, they don’t need me with them every second of the day.

I’m the mom that yells up the stairs ” you better pack it in before I lose my shit and whack you sideways”. ( before you perfect parents jump on me it is perfectly acceptable in my eyes to threaten to physically harm them, I have never actually raised a hand to them).

I’m also the Mum that waits for the real cry before going across the house to see what’s up ( I can tell when it is a whiney fake attention seeking cry to the shit I’m bleeding type of cry) . I’ll come for you being hurt but I don’t wanna come because your brother has the plastic cup you want. Figure that shit out on your own.

I’m the mum who won’t rush across the park to scoop you up when you have had a little tumble, unless there is blood, a bone sticking out of your body or a serious injury, my kids are tough they ain’t no snowflake, they cry when they are hurt not when they have tripped.

Stop raising incapable kids because they turn into incapable adults, stop following them everywhere, put the anti bacteria gel away, give them space to grow and learn, christ when we were growing up our mum would spit on our wounds and use her sleeve to wipe away the blood, our mums gave us the freedom to grow and learn.

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