Its A Bad Day Not A Bad Life

Not every day is easy

Not every day is a “good day”

Today is one of them days

The feelings of helplessness because you can’t settle your baby

They soon turn into feelings of guilt and doubt

“Why can’t I settle her, what am I doing so wrong”

Then the toddler starts being mischievous and a general toddler “why can’t he just behave, why does he have to touch everything I tell him not to”

Again, feelings of guilt – these children deserve better than what you’re providing

The added stress social media causes because I have the overwhelming need to ‘prove’ to a bunch of strangers, friends and everything in between that I’m coping and that I have this whole parenting thing under control

Assuming those closest to you are judging you when you’re honest about not coping, or assuming they can see through your mask of lies

Asking my mum to take the kids so I can attend to my personal hygiene and housework – again cue the overwhelming guilt that I’m not spending enough time with my own children

My husband returns from work, only for me to thrust the children on to him so I can start tea, in my head trying to justify it as acceptable because I’m cooking everyone their tea and feeding them like the good wife and mother

But this guilt returns “he’s had a hard day at work, providing for his family. Give the man a break”

In hindsight, I can recognise that I’m my own biggest critic and it is my presumptions that cause the guilt and not in fact anybody’s opinion. I also recognise that I overlook the good moments on a bad day and don’t give myself the credit that overall, I’ve managed and today is just one day

It’s a bad day, not a bad life.