Last Night I Tried To Kill Myself- I’m Glad I Failed

Last night I tried to kill myself, last night I was alone and broken.

You see I suffer from depression and have done for such a long time.

My Facebook posts are often depressing, dark or sad, I am not crying out for attention it just really helps to post a meme, article or video which states how I feel, it’s kind of like off loading some of my emotions.

Last night I was feeling low and scrolling through my Facebook news feed, I saw so many happy photos of people on holiday, days out or meals with the family, I felt even more down, why could I not have that?  I posted a meme about depressing, my own mother commented “oh Emma are you ever bloody happy, stop attention seeking”.

In that moment I felt more worthless, more fragile and more alone than ever.

A handful of pills I swallowed a glass of water in hand a moment of despair in my mind.

An awakening thought, these people who seem so happy, whose lives appear so perfect ARENT!!! It’s posed, it’s for Facebook, no one has a perfect life NO ONE.

Everyone has their dark moments others like me just have them more often.

Fingers down my throats and a call to a friend who has never given up on me no matter how depressing I am to be around.

Please don’t let me dampen your joy, don’t stop spreading the happy, I won’t stop posting my feelings.

You are not perfect and neither I am, if my posts are too depressing remove me, don’t comment telling me to “cheer up”, or oh “are you ever happy”, trust me I get a lot of comments like this and it does not help.

Not everyone deals with things the same way, some times the person who seems the most perfect, the happiest is the one who is breaking inside, be kind with your words, think before you comment, you never know what that person is going through, Emma H