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Please can I have a private post on a sensitive subject.. I do not want to upset…

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Please can I have a private post on a sensitive subject.. I do not want to upset or offend anyone I really need some advice as I cannot tell anyone.. I have 3 kids already age 11 9 and 4 to the most amazing man who passed away nearly 3 years ago, in the last 18mths I have been kind of seeing a man on and off and I am on the pill on boxing day I found after having the feelings that I am pregnant… Shocked beyond belief so is the man who hasnt got any kids.. He is also shocked any way after talking to him about wanting a baby everything is about me such as well how would your other kids feel it will efect your career he has never said yes or no to wanting a baby… I am so unsure what to do my head is up my backside yet I am getting no straight answers from him.. I have told him this and also said I dont know if I have it in me now physically and mentally to have another baby through my previous pregnacies I was ill all the way through and suffered PND.. I havent told anyone so cannot talk to anyone.. Since my partner died this is the best I have been my head seem clear and now this any advice would be good and if you going to nasty comment dont bother as I am bashing myself enough
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