please could I have a personal post? Hey ladies, this is a long one and really…

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please could I have a personal post?

Hey ladies, this is a long one and really hard for me to write, I have been with my partner 8 years, we have children together, engaged for 5 years, basically we’ve always argued etc we’re both very firey, but over the years Iv never understood how controlling etc he was until now, until his family and my family are telling me, he assaulted my brother in a very bad way and now my brother has nothing to do with me because I chose to stay with him, it’s got to the point where I resent him for what he’s done, he’s cheated on me, Iv tried to forgive him but never fully have, and we argue daily, every weekend, the things he hasn’t called me, said to me etc, it’s not healthy and I know it’s not, I’m in antidepressants because of him and I am only young, I tried to end it at the weekend but he guilt tripped me into not ending it so he’s currently still living with me, but I just don’t feel anything anymore and it’s breaking my heart because I don’t want to spend the rest of my life in this position. I have never spoke to another Male until recently, this lad I went to school with, he’s lovely we liked each other at School etc, if we saw each other on nights out it was a laugh nothing more just friends, but I saw him in the local shop tonight and we was talking and Iv not felt that sick in ages, I actually had butterflies, I just feel like I’m such a bad person and I really don’t know what to do 😞, I’m finding things so hard, please don’t bash me any advice I would be really greatful for x
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