Ppp When I confronted my partner of my four children about his alcoholism he s…

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Ppp

When I confronted my partner of my four children about his alcoholism he said “I’ve killed any bit of love he had left for me” and then is carrying on as normal. I’m literally gutted and don’t feel as though I can carry on in this awful situation anymore. I’m only good enough when I’m pretending he doesn’t have issues. We have four kids together and 12 years history but what’s the point when he keeps going back to the drink. He’s admitted his issues numerous times and then when he sinks back into denial he “was only saying it because it’s what I wanted to hear!” Wth! Why would I want to hear that he’s an alcoholic for god sake! I’m gutted for our kids but this is killing me as a person. I don’t know who I am anymore. Our son is only a week old and he went out Saturday and didn’t come back until 3am Sunday. I’d locked him out so he went and slept at my mums. He came in and he had a huge lipstick mark on his cheek. He won’t even acknowledge he’s done anything wrong! I’ve lost him to this horrible disease and I’m not going to get him back am I? He basically told me today….”why don’t you leave it alone and everything will be okay?!” As in… “shut up and deal with it!” Having a baby seems to set him off as he’s acted like this every time. After my daughter he said something along the same lines that he didn’t love me anymore and it’s my fault. Kills you when you’ve just had their baby! How can he be so heartless! It’s like he’s trying to punish me for getting in the way of his drinking? I’m too hormonal for this crap right now. Thing is, even when I get rid, I’ll be in a worse situation because he’ll cause trouble over turning up to pick the kids up either hungover and still over the limit…. or he’ll have a drink in their presence. Then when I say anything… he says “I’m using the children as a weapon” and I can’t stand that and would never!!!! Sorry for the long post, I’m just ranting 😔
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