PPP I’m feeling heartbroken and deep down already know the answer but I guess I…

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PPP

I’m feeling heartbroken and deep down already know the answer but I guess I need to talk to someone and abit of confidence to help. Sorry it’s long!!

My partner of 8 years has finally admitted to having a gambling problem this has always been a problem but he’s never admitted, we are both in debt because of this (I was stupid and naive) his phone bill is in my name because he can’t get one and most months he spends over £300 on gambling sites! He owes me £2000just from January! He promised he’d pay me back with his tax rebate, he keeps saying he’s still waiting for it but today I found a letter saying he’s had it but obviously spent it all and lied to me! Now he’s stormed it because iv confronted him and as usual my fault!!! We have a little boy and I just don’t know how much more I can take. Anybody going through this? 😔
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13 thoughts on “PPP I’m feeling heartbroken and deep down already know the answer but I guess I…

  • 24th May 2017 at 9:26 pm
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    Can you reply to my post please. We split a few months back and he promised to get help but since then it hasn’t happened and keeps making excuses, iv even booked one for him but he had to work and no attempt to book another counselling session! Don’t know what more I can do?

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  • 24th May 2017 at 9:26 pm
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    Sorry could reply to my post again 😊
    Thank you everyone for your advice I feel abit better already just getting it off my chest. I’ve packed a bag and going to stay at my parents for a few days to get my head sorted I just don’t want them to know what’s going on. I’m going to put me and my little boy first it will be hard but I know I will always do the best for him!

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  • 24th May 2017 at 9:26 pm
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    Can you reply to this post please –

    My ex partner was a heroin addict which I guess is really different to a gambler but not where money or lies are concerned. He would constantly lie about money, saying he had lost it or work hadn’t paid him (when they had). Once he went as far as to get his friend to black his eye for him and told me he had been robbed when he had actually just pawned his phone! I too got in loads of debt that will always be in my name because I took out payday loans to help us on several occasions when something mysterious had happened with his money.

    It doesn’t change.

    You need to get out of there seriously before this gets any worse, he probably won’t always be around but your little boy will and he needs that money more than anyone. I don’t mean to sound harsh I know exactly how hard it is but debts and money problems will stick with you forever if you don’t sort it out.

    If I was you I would atleast ask him to move out (or you move out) even if you decide to stay in a relationship. Get in touch with a free debt helpline and get your finances in order – you’ll feel so much better xx

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  • 24th May 2017 at 9:26 pm
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    Could you please reply to the woman who has just found out about her partner gambling please.

    I’ve been there. And you’re not alone.
    It doesn’t matter how many times you threaten that you’re going to leave if they don’t sort themselves out unfortunately the change will only happen when they want it to. It’s such a selfish addiction. My ex (we have a 4 year old together) owes me thousands. And rather than get it back I’m just happy I’m not in that situation anymore. You have to look after yourself and remove yourself from the situation. He will only get help when he wants to get help. I’ve spoken to GA in the past and begged him until I was blue in the face and to this day he is still doing it. He will try to blame you. He will make you feel guilty. But you have to remember it’s not your fault. I’m now in a happy relationship with a wonderful man. My child and her dad have a brilliant relationship and thankfully she has everything she needs. If you go into gamblers anonymous you can read other people’s stories. Mostly the partners of gambling addicts which might bring you some comfort. They also offer counselling to you which is free also.

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  • 24th May 2017 at 9:26 pm
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    gambling is a really complex addiction and from the outside it’s very easy for people to say leave him , threaten him with this etc
    In reality nothing will make a difference, not even if you leave him to be honest .
    He has to want help .
    The first step is him acknowledging his addiction , the next would be to find a local gamblers anonymous to go to which often offer open meetings for partners to go along to and understand more.
    Arguing and confrontation will probably make him more sneaky about it to be honest.
    Sit and down and make a plan .
    Good luck xx

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  • 24th May 2017 at 9:26 pm
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    You have a son you need to think about hunny i can’t imagine how hard this is for you but you need to keep a roof over your boys head and food in his tummy. Xx

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  • 24th May 2017 at 9:26 pm
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    Tell him get help or you will limit contact because this is hurting yourself and your son.
    Not saying it to be horrible but hes got a choice his family or gambling.
    He carries on gambling than he loses his family and has no contact.
    His gambling is affecting you because you cant buy the things your son needs

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  • 24th May 2017 at 9:26 pm
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    Cancel his contract, get some sort of payment plan going to pay off what’s in your name…..and ditch him for your child’s sake if not your own

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  • 24th May 2017 at 9:26 pm
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    I got rid of a loser like that best thing I ever done plus got extra money aswell because he not putting it in machines good luck

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