I was always under the illusion that cot death/SIDS only struck babies under 3 months of age.
I always thought that if i didn’t smoke, didn’t have toys in the cot, had a new cot mattress, had my baby at the foot of the cot, and followed all advise to prevent it my child would be safe.
On November 17th 2010 at 1:30pm i put my very tired 7 month old son Elijah down for his nap, i didn’t want him grumpy on the school run, he was tired and teething so needed a little sleep.
At around 2pm my little dog Sinder became agitated and barking frantically, me not having a clue tried to calm down the dog, she wouldn’t stop and was scratching at my son bedroom door.
I looked in on my baby, my tiny sweet little lad was lifeless, lips were blue his eyes were closed, he didn’t move.
I grabbed Elijah out of the cot and then I stopped being his mum, he wasn’t my son, he became my patient, I cut off all emotions, I went into first aid mode.
I did CPR and rescue breathes, I didn’t have time to call for an ambulance i was alone and scared.
It took me 10 minutes of robotic movements, a cold woman just going through her previous training hoping to see a sign of life.
My baby screamed!!! He screamed in away ive never before heard.
I then realised I hadn’t even called an Ambulance, after doing so I phoned my friend and asked her to have my 3 year old son who was still at nursery.
I didn’t pick up my baby,I didn’t cry,I didn’t feel, I waited for the paramedics in silence.
On route to the hospital I just stared into space, phoned Elijah’s Father and told him to meet me at Colchester Hospital and hung up, I couldn’t say what happened because in my mind I didn’t know I didn’t feel anything, i was in shock.
We arrived at the hospital and Elijah’s Dad and Nan where waiting for us, once he was with the experts and his dad I decided to step outside to get some air.
Now I knew my son was safe I was free to feel, the second I stepped outside I broke down into hysterical tears, dropped to the floor and felt guilt, fear, relief, i replayed everything that had happened in my head and was scared.
How had this happened?
What did I do wrong?
Why didn’t I pick him up?
Why didn’t I cry, how could i have felt so numb?
Obviously I now know had I felt, had I cried, had I thought for more than a second I would have panicked and my son may not be here today.
Elijah had to have numerous tests and then the heart breaking realisation that he had to have an X-ray to see if I had broken any of his ribs, and worse knowing that I couldn’t go in with him as I was 4 months pregnant with his baby sister.
Elijah spent sometime in hospital having bloods taken, sleep analysis and his father being trained in resuscitation.
Elijah is now 7 and every year I am thankful that I still have my amazing boy still with me, had I not known how to revive a baby things could have been very different.
I make sure all my family members and anyone who babysits has knowledge of basic first aid, if you can’t get on a course to learn how to revive a baby and child, how to clear an airway etc please go to the library and get out a book, even watch YouTube videos, download and print off have step by step guide and keep it on your fridge it could one day save someone you love. XGemx
