Sorry if this is long winded but could I get some advice please? Long story sho…

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Sorry if this is long winded but could I get some advice please?

Long story short, I was in a very abusive relationship with my son’s father. I escaped when I was 6 months pregnant and never looked back. But offered him contact at mine with our son (had other family members present so wasn’t alone with him) whenever he wanted to see him. He only done an hour or so because our son was “too boring” and he had “better things to do”. So as you can imagine it only lasted 2 months. He threatened to hit me whilst I was feeding my son one visit after a disagreement about him having contact alone (sadly, was left alone with him at this moment as my mum went to get me baby milk from the shop). I made him leave my house, and put a stop to all contact at mine and told him if he wanted to see his son he would have to go through court and a contact centre.
Fast forward 4 years and my ex never bothered with ny son since that day, until I got a court letter about gaining access last year. Skip a year and my ex has been granted supervised access due to passing a cannabis test and that his last involvement with police and known violence was 2014 so he’s a “changed man”.

My son is now 5, and obviously due to court and contact starting, I have told him he has a father and that he’s going to meet him soon (before anyone jumps down my throat, I hadn’t told him before because he never asked. Didn’t see the need to have that conversation) but my son doesn’t want to go, and said to me “I’ll only see daddy if you can come with me mummy” which, I obviously can’t do. I have NEVER said a bad word about his father to him, and when telling him about his father I made it really exciting and stuff, so I don’t know what else to do 😢 Being truthful, I prayed this day would never come, but it has and I’m trying everything to make this a fun and easy process for my son.

Contact starts next week, what can I do to reassure my son that it’ll be okay? I’m not even showing my true feelings about it all, so he’s not picking it up from me. I just want what’s best for him and for him to be okay 😢 is there anyone I can chat to who has been in a similar situation?

Thanks for reading!
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