The harsh truth of having nobody.
Please be kind and support all your friends and family as much as you can, you never know what they’re facing. Don’t just ask mums how there kids are, ask the mum how she is, ask her if she is coping and talk to her even if she says she is, make her aware you are there and will be if she ever decides she isn’t coping.
This letter was written by a woman who took her life
To my precious friends and family
Please just know I love you all so much but I can’t do it anymore, I can’t keep up the pretence, I cant take 1 more night of crying myself to sleep, my face hurts, my head hurts, my eyes are raw, I’m so tired
I keep seeing all the posts over social media of happy families having fun supporting each other then there is me sat here with no one, yes I have my children but as selfish as it sounds I’m desperate for a break, not from them but this routine, their dad doesn’t want to know, my parents only being able to come as close as the gate, I feel so alone, we can’t even go for a walk because we’re in shielding, I feel like a prisoner
I started off like everyone else, up washed dressed, 3 meals a day, school work done in the morning, fun activities in the afternoon and settle down with a movie at night, kids in bed, quickly tidy and fall asleep again for the next day, do you know what my routine is now, this will probably anger a lot of you but rest assured as I’m typing this the guilt is eating away at me, the tears are streaming and I wish that this wasn’t my reality but it is, I now awake around 11 and noon after not being able to sleep all night, fantasing about sneaking out and abandoning the kids, how to kill myself, do I take the kids too or do i let them live on with out me and find me in the morning, at this point the kids have been up on their own, messed up the house which I can’t face sorting, either not eaten or helped themselves to anything, around 3pm I can finally move, still can’t motivate myself to do anything productive, just sit on social media torturing myself watching and wondering how people are managing to do the things they are doing, wishing I could just get up washed and dressed.
Well it’s now 3:30am this is my 5th night of this and I can’t take it any longer, this is the only productive thing I’ve done for a while
I’ve packed all the kids things up, their clothes, paper work and their favourite things, I’ve wrote them all a letter saying I love them and how sorry I am
The key is under the doormat please who ever gets this first come and get the children before they wake around 8am, don’t go into my room just ring the police, you dont need to have that last memory of me
I’m so sorry, love you all please forgive me
This was a couple of days ago, she hung herself
Our family have requested to stay anonymous so please share this as such but they beg you to get the word out if anyone is feeling anything like this or can relate in anyway please speak up
They want this letter to go viral, if it saves just one person’s life please spread it far and wide