We’ve just had the worst Christmas ever. Early on Christmas morning my dad passe…
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We’ve just had the worst Christmas ever. Early on Christmas morning my dad passed away very suddenly. We are all heartbroken and shocked. My 10 year old daughter is extremely close to her grandad. He had 7 grandsons and then my girl come along. Her grandad adored her. He helped me by picking her up from school while I was at work. They spent alot of time together up at his allotment, helping with homework and everything in general. They were friends.
The night before dad’s funeral he will be coming home for the night so all of the family can see him. My 10 year old is adamant she’s going to see her grandad. I’ve explained that he won’t look the same as normal but she insists she sees him. The post mortem examination won’t be done yet so we are looking at 7-10 days before we get him home. I’m trying to talk her out of seeing him but I’m worried she won’t forgive me for not letting her see him. Do you think she’s too young? I really don’t know what to do for the best 😢😢
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You can’t let her see him, that will be the image she will have of him for the rest of her life. As much as we give our children their own choices, sometimes we need to be the adult and say no. She will forgive you later in life xxx
I personally wouldn’t let her see him, just explain that it’s best she remembers him as he was and keeps those as her last memories with him. I lost my grandad at 15 and that’s what I did x
First of all, I’m so very sorry for your loss. *Big hugs*.
Usually I would say that 10 is too young for her really but only you would know how mature she is.
In her mind, she might see death as something horrifying. Seeing her Grandad looking peaceful (just ‘sleeping’) might help her to see it’s not as horrific as she thinks.
I wasn’t allowed to see my Grandad when he died and it’s always something I’ve regretted. However, when my Dad died, I refused to see him. But that’s based on his personality and the type of person I was at the time.
I think there’s pros and cons for her not to see him to be honest. Only you will know. x
My FIL past last year, my boys were 11 & 9, they both wanted to see him, they actually handled it better than me. I think looking back it helped them with their grief, I don’t think I’d have stopped them. Sorry for your loss xo
I honestly don’t know the answer to that hun sorry. But if she was to see him he will be made up and looking smart. Sorry for your loss xxx
Sorry for your loss lovely. I lost my grandma in January and i went to see her in the chapel of rest and i really wished i hadnt. It looked nothing like her and i couldnt handle how cold she was. I know this sounds silly but i just couldnt. Im 32 aswell but it upset me and still does thinking about it xx
I was 11 wen my grandad died I still can’t forgive my mum for not letting me say good by he was my best friend we did a lot together I’m now 25
Let her have her private moment alone with you seeing him. My grandad passed when I was 12 and it really helps having that closure. Didn’t do me any negative harm. X
When my grandad passed me and my mum wasn’t allowed to see him and was told to remember him as we last saw him.. we didn’t see him as it was my nans wishes but we regret it and always will xx
My daughter was the same when her gran dies an a told her a would go am c if she looked ok an just asleep first then a would let het but if not to remember her the way they had times together xx
I lost my dad in August n my 10 n 7 year old saw him they wasn’t fazed at all xx
Its a tough one, because if it was my daughter id want her to remember him as he was before x
I feel for you something I wouldn’t like to decide. I’m thinking of you. Such a sad time for your family xx
No I think she needs to see him it will help her with closure
Please let Her esp if she wants to. I seen my gran when she died and I got to say goodbye to her
I would let her make the decision xx