What I Did When My Childs Boyfriend Dumped Her
I’ve spent the last hour or so comforting my 8yr old daughter Millie.
For the last 6 plus months, Millie has had an on / off relationship with the 7yr old little boy next door. (I don’t want to use his real name so I’ll call him Joe bloggs) Obviously they’re far too young for a real boyfriend / girlfriend relationship but they’d play together, occasionally hold hands, and blow each other kisses over the hedge. All very cute and lovely.
Joe bloggs has just dumped Millie from over the garden fence and she is HEARTBROKEN. We’ve had endless tears, lots of snot and lots of cuddles.
Now anyone who knows me, knows I’m not very tactful. I don’t do the whole mushy stuff, and I definitely don’t sugar coat shit.
Had this been one of my own girlfriends who had been cowedly dumped by her fella, I’d have known exactly what to do. I’d have wiped her tears, poured her a glass of wine and told her in no uncertain terms that she absolutely had to fuck his dad.
Unfortunately when you’re dealing with an 8yr old with a glass of apple juice at a picnic table…. Not appropriate.
I chose to just let Millie vent her feelings. I let her be upset, I let her be angry and I sent Daddy to the shop for some chocolate.
When she started to calm down, I wanted to try and make her smile.
Joe bloggs had revealed to Millie that he was dumping her for another girl 😱 Apparently they’ve been talking lots and he’s in love with her and when they’re all ‘growned up’ they’re going to have lots of babies.
To try and make Millie giggle, I got out the pens and paper and we drew a picture of Millie AND Joe bloggs new girlfriend. We drew Millie as a princess and the new girlfriend all Ugly and icky. We gave her a snout for a nose and googly eyes and Millie even gave her a big hairy face. By the end of the picture Millie was beaming and back to my happy little girl 🥰
It was only when Millie declared she was off to give his new ‘girlfriend’ the picture herself that I was suddenly confused…..
…… Turns out Joe Bloggs new girlfriend is Millie’s 8yr old sister Vienna 🤦♀️
Millie took great pleasure in showing Vienna the picture that her AND MUMMY had drawn of her. Including details of how Mummy said she probably ate worms for breakfast, has hairy toes and bogies in her ears 🤦♀️
One 8yr old is my best friend.
The other 8yr old poured her juice into my cuppa and called me a meanie fathead.
Joe fucking Blogs has a lot to answer for and Mummy has making up to do whilst trying to keep the peace between sisters.
Is it bedtime yet 🙈
*Edit….Daddy thinks this whole thing is piss funny and keeps calling me a fathead 🙄
