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Really long post and want honest opinions please.
So basically me and my ex had a toxic relationship, we had our good moments but last year in october we had a massive argument which led to him putting his hands round my throat and strangling me.. I forgave him but only a week later he left. I was obviously heartbroken as I blamed myself for what happened. We have a little girl who nearly one and a half. He left end of October completely and had seen her maybe 3 times before new year. He wasn’t making any effort at all, was out partying and doing whatever. New years eve he was supposed to have LO but didnt let me know the plan or when he was coming so I had enough and told him I’m blocking him out my life completely and he needed to go through court. I didnt hear from him until 22nd February with complete Abuse. He got a new girlfriend end of January and they split middle February.. I left them too it even though it did break me apart as he made it look like he was living a separate life without his daughter.. I hadn’t heard from a lawyer or anything at that point. Maybe a week after him trying to contact me I had a letter from a lawyer that he wanted contact. I practically begged him to stay part of LO life when he left but he just made things so hard. my lawyer replied stating I want him to have contact. Two weeks went by and he came up on my tinder and I liked him to see if he had matched me back and he had. Within 5 minutes he had messaged me. Baring in mind he hadn’t seen lo in nearly three months he kept begging to come up and see her. I agreed as long as nobody knew. I tried so hard to stand my ground while he was here trying to be all best daddy of the year then asked me for a hug. I cave every to me I see him, he’s my first love, baby dad and I gave everything up for him. He ended up staying maybe a week and then left, went on a full weekend bender and then a week and a half later done the same and silly me let him stay again for the week, he acted Happy families and now hes just gone and done the same. When arguments broke out I did say he wasn’t aloud to see lo anymore until he did go through court and I felt bad because I felt I was using her as a weapon but was heat of the moment. He’s currently away out getting drunk and I haven’t heard from him in a few days, I have text loads of times asking if he wanted to have lo today as planned but no response, the last thing he did say was he was waiting till court now so he doesnt need to he in contact with me , I dont know what to do anymore, I feel heartbroken all over again when I was doing well before he got in contact and so was LO!
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