Can I have a private post please?
I literally don’t know who to turn to or what to do.
I’m 22 years old, with an 8 week old baby. I’ve been with my partner on and off for 5 years. In the last few years he has developed severe psychosis and for the last 2 years, he has been particularly bad. He has had a ‘safe zone’ which is around the local hospital. This has meant that every day for the last 2 years we have driven to the local hospital every day and spent between 2 and 8 hours there every day. He hears voices, has hallucinations which trigger really bad anxiety and this is where he feels most calm. Some days we have spent the night (sleeping in the car) there. I had a full time job but had to give it up as I was calling in sick all the time as he didn’t want to be with anyone else but me.
I can’t cope anymore, he is so aggressive and forces me into taking him to the hospital every day (with our daughter now too) we leave my house at 2pm and stay there I’ll 9/10pm. The way he treats me is awful, he scares me and as social services are involved he makes threats and says he’s gonna make sure she’s taken away from me, he threatens to hurt my family etc.
In the last 2 years I’ve not saw any of my friends and barley saw family as he will not let me go out alone and his safe zone doesn’t go as far as family/friends houses. I’m scared to invite people over as he is so aggressive.
His family are not supportive at all, I’ve rang his parents crying and they just hang up – and they’ve even tried to blame his problems on me.
My family I’ve not told the ins and outs of the issues as I know they would only worry but I’m very distant from them as I worry about seeing them.
Because of his comfort zone, I’ve missed appointments all during and after my pregnancy.
I’ve told his doctors he needs sectioning but as my partner has said me and our daughter are his only way to cope, they have refused to put him in one.
I physically can’t cope anymore, I’m drained, I have no quality of life, I feel like I live to please him. I’m so depressed and feel like I’m failing my daughter.
I’ve asked him to leave so many times, but he just steals my car keys and door keys so I can’t leave.
I’ve thought about calling the police but I’m so scared because I’m worried what his family might do to me and my family. His brother has previously been extremely violent to me. He smashed my car up, beat me up, and threatened to sexually assault me.
I don’t know why I’ve let it get this far, I suppose I feel now that looking after him is my purpose.
Does anyone know any organisations that can help at all? Or have any advice for me.
Thanks so much xxx