I hated my step son, I mean I fed him and bathed him and never saw he come to any harm but he annoyed me so much I dreaded him coming over, I just found him so irritating and wished he never visited.
Marcus was only four years old when I met him and I was a 21-year-old woman who had no interest in children, never wanting to hold babies or cooed over them, I didn’t dislike kids they just didn’t appeal to me.
I loved my boyfriend and thought having a step child wouldn’t be too much of an inconvenience, I mean how hard could a 4-year-old be?.
Why when I’ve spent 2 hours cooking a delicious roast didn’t he eat it, why when we’ve taken him to the zoo and bought him an ice cream is he still moaning, why doesn’t he listen? why does he whine all the time, this kid is never satisfied always wanting more and more.
Christmas Eve he had loads of presents but wasn’t interested in anything other than one cheap car.
I was constantly nagging my partner about his son, why was he such a brat?
Oh how much guilt I feel now! I had my first child and felt love I had never known before, Sophie changed my views, she cried, she moaned she had normal tantrums, I saw my step son in another light.
He wasn’t a brat, he wasn’t ungrateful he was a little boy and he was behaving like every child out there, I was the brat, I was the one who had no clue on children.
I recall sitting on my bed sobbing thinking what a huge bitch I had been, the next weekend when my step son come over I was gentle, I was kind and felt love for this innocent boy.
Having my own child made me a far better step mum, I love both Marcus and Sophie and regret the way I was they are both nearly adults now and I am proud to be a huge part of Marcus’s life, I want other woman out there who are put into ready-made families to step back and look at themselves, spend time with the child and build a bond, love may not come over night nor will understanding but give it time and hopefully it will come.