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Private post please …..i feel stupid writing this and unsure if im in the wron…

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Private post please …..i feel stupid writing this and unsure if im in the wrong but here goes .ive been in a relationship for over 20 years with older children i feel its a abusive relationship and probably alway has been hes very controling i work full time but have to ask for money i have to “book” a evening out a month in advance then its to much hassle on the run up with his remarks and sulks i end up cancelling. Im in my 40s and have tp ask if im allowed alcohol because he got it in my head i was a alcoholic,but is it abusive if it’s not physical?lifes good if hes happy a nightmare if hes had a bad day.i want to leave him in the new year but people will say i am given everything and treated like a queen because that’s the image he gives. But how can i leave when he has all my money and passport,wage slips bank statements. Sorry for long post.
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