So I’ve been with my partner for 2 years nearly (on and off) he keeps hinting th…


So I’ve been with my partner for 2 years nearly (on and off) he keeps hinting that he wants kids and even told me what he would like for our wedding and that he’d do it traditionally and ask my parents first but after speaking about it seriously he says he doesn’t know what he wants, he even said we can get married but no kids obviously I said no then he said we can have kids but not married and I did think about it and was going to say okay then but then I thought why should I settle with just one thing I want in life I want kids so badly with him but I’m not prepared to give up my dream wedding which I’ve got planned out (I’m sad) to have children with someone who doesn’t want the same as myself if that makes any sense?? If it really was a choice I HAD to make it would be children but ideally I’d like to get married too!! He’s 35 and I said he should know by now as he’s getting older, I gave him the ultimatum, he needs to 100% know what he wants and make a decision by November this year so he has 6 months which is enough time to figure out what you want in life when you have been with someone 2 years already! It’s not like we’re rushing into it, and I don’t mean I want it all right now I’d just like to know that the person I’m with is wanting the same as otherwise I’m wasting my time with him as I’m absolutely certain I want kids and marriage, he has said what if it gets to November and he has made his choice and doesn’t want those things and I told him I’d leave him, I said it’s selfish to keep me here when I could be with someone who wanted the same, however the other week he was showing me engagement rings and asking which I liked! So confused 😐 what would you ladies do in my situation? Any advice welcome! Sorry for long post x



  1. Please can u reply he hasn’t been consistent as he’s been hinting how he wants his children brought up etc and Tracy you are absolutely right I have laid it out to him but he says he may or may not in the future but yes I would rather him want those things than be forced, I’m not trying to force it at all which is why I’ve said 6 months and if he doesn’t want marriage and kids then I walk away x

  2. You’ve been on and off for 2 years and in that time he has consistently told you he doesn’t want/isn’t ready for those things, I think it’s unfair for you to demand he give you them. You’re better off just moving on now x

  3. Tbh I have heard so many women say oh I’ll give him 6 months or a year etc. You can’t force someone to want the same things and no amount of time frame can change that. They need to want it of their own accord. Unfortunately sometimes in life we want different things. You just need to lay it out on the table now rather than prolonging it. Either you stay together and can accept you want different things or go your separate ways. But saying you will give him 6 months isn’t realistic because he may just tell you what you want to hear or not and you’ve waited for nothing or if you’re lucky he will agree. It shouldn’t be forced though. He may grow to want it he may not. Would you not rather some one actually want these things with you rather than asking them to agree? That’s the way i see it anyway.

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