A few month back we got sent into hospital which carbon monoxide me / my 3 daugh…
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A few month back we got sent into hospital which carbon monoxide me / my 3 daughters at the time I had it but lucky for some odd but good reason they didn’t but they wasn’t in as much has I was but when we was in the hospital noticed bites and scratches I explain I have 3 under 3 my 2 oldest are constant biting and scratching so they got ss involved and they wanted dentistry and pics and measurements to make sure they was off a child because I have mental health which broke my heart I was completely broken they even thought that I mean I can understand it cuz if they didn’t question it ide be concerned my self but they kept asking for my story over and over again asking do I feel down do I ever feel ajatated being a young mum load more I suffer with severe panic and anxiety and depression on meds for but I told them when I have panic attacks I hide in bathroom so my kids don’t see they said there issue is supervision if I’m in there the kids are likely to be able to fight ( all come back but they was child bits etc ) now there on child protection ss said it’s nothing to do with me as a prarent it’s to get me the help I need for my mental health and to help me with the kids fighting has I give way to them and constantly pic them all up the second they cry so now when I’ve recently but my foot down they fight i struggle with brething ( under investigation at hospital ) so been making my panic attacks so much worse for past 5 week I’ve not had one which is great but with all this I Carnt stop paniickinh thinking there gunna take them I’ve spent morts my life in care so it’s hurting me more they say they think my past affect me has I do not allow anybody to baby sit my kids never have since my first born was born i don’t attened my hospital stays has kids Carnt stay I have there dad I’m still with but I feel like they need me there little faces when I go kills me but lately I’ve felt sucidel to the point where I’ve attempted but I feel this is only way for kids to be happy I feel I don’t wanna do this to them anymore I’m always down I derent let them out incase they bruise and then they question is which they do I just wanna go never felt so low in my life and if I tell them they will take them some days I don’t feel like this then days I wanna get it over and done with looking at my baby’s helps me but inside I feel like somethings not right with me one minute I’m happy then severely down then giddy then over thinking beeen like this since young I duno how much more I can take I feel so selfish even wanting to leave them behind but they don’t deserve this .. I’m awaiting mental health worker but I derent tell them how I feel 😞 Duno why but feel like I needed to get this off my chest anyone else been threw it
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