Adoption-My Personal View
I was placed into care at only 9 months old, my biological mother was an alcoholic and not able to care for me properly.
My adoptive parents had tried to conceive naturally and through IVF for over 10 years, my mum had polycystic ovaries and my dad a low sperm count.
My adoptive parents then tried to adopt (this was back in the late 80’s), they went on strict parenting courses, had their finances looked into, their home inspected and were on a waiting list for 10 yes 10 years, just as they were about to give up their adoption agency phoned.
My mother answered the phone and was told that they had 2 siblings available to adopt a girl aged 3 and a boy aged 4, they needed a decision by the next morning.
My mum and dad decided that they wanted me and my brother, a week later I had a trial sleepover at their house and 3 weeks later I was living with them.
It took a year before it was official and I was legally adopted.
Growing up I never felt any different from any other child at school apart from that my parents were older than all my friends.
When I hit my teen years I started to wonder about my “real” parents, I began resenting my adopted parents, thinking I would have been better off with my real mum and dad, how much more fun and less strict they would have been.
I was horrible to my adoptive mum, on one occasion she tried to discipline me, I shouted at her that she wasn’t my mum anyway. I could see the hurt in her eyes and will always regret saying that.
It wasn’t until I was a lot older I found out the reason why I was taken in to care and lost all interest in meeting my womb donor.
I did however track down my biological dad who had no say in my adoption.
On the day I gave birth to my first child, there was only one person I wanted to call, only one person I couldn’t wait to see..my mum.
She is not my adopted mum, she is not some woman who couldn’t bear children, she’s my mum, my rock, the woman who put up with my childhood tantrums, stood by me throughout my teen years and the woman who made me who I am today.
Yes I have my biological dad in my life and I love him to bits, but my adopted dad is the man I call father, the one who taught me how to ride a bike, the man who comforted me when my heart was broken and knew just what to say to make me laugh.
So what I’m trying to say is adoption shouldn’t be the last resort, a bad thing etc it is amazing, it is hard but my good is it worth it. To all you adoptive parents out there I thank you for giving children a place in your heart and in your home.
