Can I gave a ppp. When do you say enough is enough? My sons dad has been so hi…

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Can I gave a ppp.
When do you say enough is enough?
My sons dad has been so hit and miss in his life. Will go up to 8 weeks without seeing him. He then comes to see him for an hour but only at my house, he just sits in his phone the entire time he’s not even bothered about speaking to my son. He’s had another baby and since then my sons been almost non existent to him. My boy has so many special needs and sometimes hell have a meltdown and all he’ll get from his dad is a tut. He litterally looks at him like a bit of dirt.
He pays Csa and is happy to but to me that’s not enough, just throwing money at my son and no time with him. He’ll litterally cancel at a minutes notice, he’s always putting photos up of his new son and never one of ours, some people don’t even know he has 2 sons like he’s embarrassed.
We have a pretty good relationship after years of arguing and it’s taken alot to get here! But im really getting fed up of my son being put on the back burner, never going out of the house with him, last time he had him over night he was 6 months old that was also the last time he met any of his family. He’s now nearly 5. Has no contact with anyone from his dad’s side.
The last straw was me asking to be at our sons first day of school, he said yes then suddenly said he can’t as something has come up. This has broken my heart and it’s made me think is enough enough?
Now on the other hand is my partner who has been around my son since he was 9 months old, he loves him soooo much and it breaks his heart that he’s messed around so much. He’s longed for a child for so long and his family absolutely dote on my son like he is his own. He says all the time that if me and him were to split up then he would still want to play a big part in his life because to him he is his child just without DNA. He shows kindness, love, compassion, routine and stability.

He keeps saying how one day he would love to adopt him and raise him as his own so he knows he has full stability in his life.

I just feel torn between a man who doesn’t seem to want to be a dad, and one who would put everything has has into being one.

Does anyone else feel this way?
What advice would people give me?
I feel like his dad is fazing my son our of his life and it’s heartbreaking when all my son wants is love he doesn’t want or need anything else and I never ask for anything other than that. It litterally breaks my hearts for him and my partner 🙁
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