Can I have a pp please? Sorry in advance for babbling on. I’m a single mum of tw…
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Can I have a pp please? Sorry in advance for babbling on.
I’m a single mum of two. I suffer from anxiety. I feel stuck. Like I’m not good enough and will never be good enough. Every time I meet someone I get hurt or let down. This is the messy bit. My ex (not my kids Dad) has a gf of about 9 months now and every month he will find a way of contacting me and worm his way back in. He plays on my vulnerability. Last weekend he turned up drunk at my door. His family didn’t know where he went so I had everyone asking if I’d heard from him. I lied for him and said I’d not heard from him. Even his gf went crazy on him as they’re moving into a house together next month (that I didn’t know about)… he still stayed the night and things happened. He kept saying he doesn’t want to be with her and only with her now so she can pay for their deposit and rent on the house. Then telling me he loves me, wants to marry me and have a baby with me… I’m so stupid. I haven’t got any confidence or self belief. So him saying all this I believed him. I took him home in the morning and carried on lying for him. For him to then tell me he doesn’t want me and just wants to be friends. I hate to admit it but I do still love him. I don’t know how to stop loving him. I try to move on but he always pops up. My kids adore him. But he’s not a great role model for them. I’ve blocked him on everything I don’t want any contact. I’ve tried telling his gf what he’s really like on separate occasions but she just thinks I’m a psycho as she believes all his lies. I’m not going to say anything this time. Maybe them moving in to a house together they’ll make a go of things. The last time I’d told her what was going on, they threatened to make a malicious complaint about me to social services. I’ve nothing to hide so I’m not bothered. I’m so upset and hurt that I’ve let him do this to me again. When will I get over him? I fear getting hurt all the time I’m scared to meet new people. I’m not desperate I just get so lonely in the evenings. I’m thinking about getting us a dog. 😞 I don’t know what I’m asking for from this post just some support and advice. Sorry again. Thank you. Xx
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