Can I have a ppp xx Does any other mother feel like they are failing at this wh…

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Can I have a ppp xx

Does any other mother feel like they are failing at this whole parenting thing???
I split with my ex nearly 2 years ago. We have 2 children age 10 and 8. We both have new partners.
He has been very inconsistent with regards to access (only saw the kids ONCE last month), and he owes over £700 in maintenance (I have yet to receive a monthly payment).
He has a good social life – nights out, weekends away etc but hasn’t had the kids for a sleepover, or at the weekend for months!!
Lawyers have been involved but no set contact schedule was agreed due to the fact he works shifts,so it’s currently as and when suits him.
He phoned the other day demanding it’s his turn with the kids for Xmas dinner this year but when I spoke to them they have said they don’t want to go and only want to see him for a few hours then come home. I understand they are young but they have old heads on young shoulders and are much more mature than kids their age.
I feel reluctant forcing them to go when they don’t want to and feel that there is no compromise, teamwork, or coparenting of any sort.
Communication is at the absolute bare minimum. He is very narcisitic and I find it incredibly difficult coping with this.

What would everyone do?! I am really struggling between what the kids want and the ‘idea’ of the parenting relationship we could have (yet this is pretty impossible as ex is incredibly childish, selfish and as above narcisitic). I have always been pretty soft. Give too many chances, give the benefit of the doubt, try try and try again.

I just don’t know what to do anymore!!!
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