Can I have a Private post please? I had a private post on Friday about how I c…

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Can I have a Private post please?

I had a private post on Friday about how I can’t have sex with my husband after finding out he’s hired sex workers while over seas in the past…I only found out he had done that and his sexual past after I agreed to marry him and have kids with him. If I had of found out while we were just “dating” I would have left.
I have my reasons why it’s such a touchy subject with me and I feel like I don’t want to marry someone who thinks it’s his right to buy a women’s body for the night. Just makes me think of my past every time we go to be intimate.

I met with my counsellor and talked about how I think sex is meaningless and pointless. It can be with strangers or friends or partners. It can be forced. It can even be bought from a bar maid. (What my husband did)
And I try sometimes to say to myself “yeah but sex is how we got our daughter” but it’s also how he got his ex pregnant who he didn’t love what so ever.
It’s gotten to the point where I cry during or after sex with the man I love. And that’s so horrible to me. I do love him. He’s a great dad. And a great guy. I just can’t have a healthy outlook on sex or intimacy and it’s effecting my mental state.

Anyway my counsellor said I need to talk to my husband about how I feel and view sex but I don’t know how to bring it up?!?! We haven’t had sex in a LONG time and I often avoid it at all costs. So it’s not like I can say “I don’t want to have sex tonight and this is why”
I just don’t know how to start the conversation and I need some help.
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