Can I have a private post please? I really don’t want to be judged but kind word…

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Can I have a private post please? I really don’t want to be judged but kind words may even help me get the support I need.

Basically my daughter was sexually abused at 2 years old by her father. He was charged but didn’t have any prison time, I’m struggling so bad. Because I don’t let him or his family have contact with her ( them because they have defended him and supported him even though he pleaded guilty ) my life has been made hell even more. People believe their nasty little lies, people call me a bad Mum for not letting any of them see her and I’m sick of it, everyone seems to be on their side even though he was charged and it went in our local papers. I have really suffered mentally due to all of this, I had another baby with someone else and I was already pregnant when I found out from the police what had happened. I can’t even fold her clothes away without crying, my sleep ends up with me having nightmares waking up in tears and sweating.

I cannot see past this and his family are never going to leave me alone, I’ve tried everything, today I even searched ‘pain free ways to kill my self’ I just can’t cope with all of these emotions and feelings this has really ruined my life. Luckily my daughter is fine and doesn’t even know or remember anything but I can’t even look at her without wanting to cry. She’s my baby and my everything and I don’t want to leave her or my son behind but i shouldn’t have to live being traumatised every day of my life 💔
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