Can I have a private post please? It’s a long one but I feel really lost atm. …

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Can I have a private post please? It’s a long one but I feel really lost atm.

A few months ago my son (age 2 at the time) caught at least a minute of his dad beating me up. Since then his anger has been awful, probably from what he saw and the fact daddy isn’t here with us anymore. He’s a loving clever little boy but when he’s angry, it’s shocking.

Fast forward I still allowed his dad to see him supervised at his mums (social services okayed this) as my son adores his daddy more than anybody. It’s been rocky. He’s let my son down many times and my heart really hurts. My son waits at the door for his Grandad to take him to daddies, he likes to put gel in his hair on the days he sees daddy because he wants to be like him he can’t wait to show him his new toys and so on but “daddy” has let him down so many times now with no excuse and my son sobs at the age of 3 saying “I just want to see my daddy”. Never have I ever hurt so much than I have comforting him because daddy isn’t there.

I know a few of you may laugh at this part but my son has been potty trained for a couple of months now, always wees on the toilet but for the past week since his dad has been letting him down, he purposely pooes himself ☹️ I’m unsure why but he does it then gets really upset. He’s not poorly either?

He’s defiant too. Says he wants something, I offer it to him, he refuses it I say okay and he all of a sudden wants it again.

My poor boy is all over the place at the moment. He sleeps in my bed with me since me and his dad broke up and tonight he took himself to bed in his own room by himself, didn’t want a dvd or anything. My hearts breaking. I’m going through a miscarriage right now so I’m absolutely gutted. I feel useless. I just want my son to be happy ☹️ sorry for the long post
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