Can I have private post please x Long story I’ll try keep it short , me and my p…
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Can I have private post please x Long story I’ll try keep it short , me and my partner been together 5-6years got 2yr old with him and his daughter who’s 14 step-daughter to me . Anyways I don’t work I’m stay home mum he works full time. Recently moved into a nice house everything’s sweet then I notice we don’t have money for maybe food etc and stuff we get CB, CTC also HB his wage I don’t have any money except £20 every week which is my little ones I don’t spend anything just for food shop so I can’t understand where the money’s gone I ask him he just lies and I believe him. I had to borrow Money of family! To make it worst the following couple months it’s keeps happening I decided to look at his bank statements he had been withdrawing the money I’m talking like £140 quid here £30 £20 every couple of days so I ask him about it turns out he’s got a gambling addiction ( won’t admit it!) I told him enough is enough he barred him self from every bookie shop everything was fine then two months after it starts again money disappears again ( I don’t mind if he spent a little it’s his money he earns it!) he smokes weed too so that’s money too his step-daughter gives me attitude all the time he don’t even look after her works all the time and I’m left in the house all day everyday I also seen messages of this girl he been messaging its more her and he said there just friends I question her about it she said she was drunk ( I want to be with you but too far away! – bitch!) I was angry confronted him straight away we argued but he just seemed to sweep it under the carpet and surely enough I soon forgot about it he told me he wouldn’t message her again! But few months down the line I check his phone ( I check his phone because he’s made me this way lying and gambling !) behold a message of the same woman messages have been deleted so only seen her reply to saying nothing lol . So I don’t know what to do really heads in a mess!! I also found out he’s been gambling again’! I was suppose to have the card he wasn’t but he took it without me realising and he’s took alot of money again!! We are debt with a few things but we should be fine as we get enough money ? I just don’t know what to do ? Pack my bags and leave or let him explain !
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Would you drive a car with no wheels?? No because you wouldn’t get anywhere.
Don’t stay in a relationship you can’t trust because it isn’t going any where xx
He needs to be ready to address his addiction. Look up gamblers anonymous on line and try to get him to a meeting. You need support for yourself also, so try al anon if there isn’t anything else available to you. The behaviours are the same for most addictions. It’s not about whether it’s gambling, sex, drugs, alcohol, exercise, food or shopping. Addictions are mental and feelings based illnesses. They are rooted in being unable to manage thoughts or feelings.
On a practical note if you do choose to stay with him and stand by him, change the PIN number so he can’t access the money or make sure you pay the bills and buy everything you need for your child before he can access the account. You need to take control of the finances whilst he is powerless over his addiction. He is being triggered because he is not addressing the underlying reasons for his addiction. X x x
You will never be able to trust him and will always be paranoid and it will eat away at u. Soon enough ur child will start picking up on conversations your having with dad and will start to disrupt him. Leave now before its too late hun. He needs to hit rock bottom before he can pick himself back up. Change all the tax credits, child benefits etc into your name and your account and go!!!!
Doesnt matter how or what he says by way of explanation. Hes lied about things other than his addiction. You cant trust him. Xx
Do the best thing for you and your child, leave him x