Can i please have a private post please? Has anyone suffered feeling so depresse…

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Can i please have a private post please? Has anyone suffered feeling so depressed during pregnancy? I’m still in my 1st trimester and I have been very ill this time in and out of hospital etc. I have two other children who I feel like are suffering because I’m so I’ll and have zero energy! I struggle to get out of bed let alone do anything. I’m back at my midwife this week but I’m scared of telling her because shes quite snobby and am scared she’ll use it against me etc. I’m really happy I’m going to have a baby as I didn’t even think I would be able to as I was told for nearly 3 years I wouldn’t ever be able to have any again and then found out it was mixed emotions but once got my head round it I’m excited I’m just hating this pregnancy. Has anyone else been through this and any advice to stop feeling like this? A part of me has been thinking of having an abortion just because of how ill I have been. To be honest I’m not that bothered about me as such, yes i hate it but it’s just my other 2 I feel so sorry for they are still young and need me and a just feel like a can’t be there for them 😭😭 x
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