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Could I have a ppp again. Sorry! So I’m 11+ weeks pregnant. The dad, is a lot ol…

Could I have a ppp again. Sorry! So I’m 11+ weeks pregnant. The dad, is a lot older than me by 14 years, and has a 3 year old son he see 3 nights a week. Since he found out I was pregnant he called everything off and has hardly spoken to me. The other night I went to his house to talk! And basically he wants access to the child for a few hours a week but that’s all but has said he will not provide financially for it. Financially we both struggle, but he still has enough money for weed and fags each week. Each to their own, not critical against people who smoke or smoke pot. But I personally I don’t and won’t. However how can I trust someone who ultimately is putting drugs and fags first over his child. I know it’s not all about the money. But I don’t really want my child in an environment where there is drugs. He’s told me if I get csa involved he won’t have anything to do for his child! So I’m stuck between financially being support or the child seeing it’s father! On top of all of this he is now insisting that I give the child his last name because then his son and his unborn child will be the same. However we’re not married, he hasn’t been there for me through the whole of the pregnancy so far, even when I was sent to EPU with a threatened miscarriage he wasn’t interested. And I just don’t see why I can’t give if my last name. Am I in the wrong or a bad person for not giving little one his last name?
Any advice would be great. Just a first time worried mummy!


10 thoughts on “Could I have a ppp again. Sorry! So I’m 11+ weeks pregnant. The dad, is a lot ol…

  • Personally I’d give baby your last name. Dad doesn’t seem to bothered about actually caring and providing for little one.

    I don’t understand why you would want one of your children 3 nights a week and a few hours a week for the other one.

    I’d also tell him he helps out financially even if it is just a pack of nappies and a couple of outfits. X

  • Personally if he’s gonna be such an ass I’d say you’re both be better off without him…. I’d go to csa and I’d give baby my surname and it’s his choice if he doesn’t wanna be involved… his loss!!

    I’m in a similar situation except my baby’s dad has outright said he doesn’t wanna be involved and he doesn’t wanna pay… and I haven’t heard anything else since… it’s been hard but it’s better than having him let me and my baby down constantly. Xx

  • Personally if he wants access even for a few hours he should contribute! He can’t have it both ways! Either he coughs up for help provide and see’s your little one or doesn’t at all.

  • Keep a record and all messages of this too. If he decides to take you to court. You’ve got proof of doing what was in the best interest for your child

  • If this was my situation he would be on his ass.
    Tell him to do one. He cannot tell you what you can and can’t do in regards to your child.
    Give him YOUR last name. If he isn’t going to be involved then why give him the pleasure of having a child with his name?
    As for csa (now cms) it tell them as soon as possible and document all or any threats and demands and if it gets too much straight to a lawyers.

    Good luck in what ever you decide x

  • Your last name and CSA.
    Sorry this guy is awful.
    If you don’t do it that way you’ll be posting again in a few months saying that he has stopped paying the money but still wants access yada yada yada.
    Sorry to be blunt but don’t put yourself in a situation where you can become a victim. Be strong!

  • I totally disagree! T think every child shoe take there father’s last name, just cos he’s been a arse & stuff dosnt chance the fact that he shouldn’t have Jim fathers last name.

  • Personally, id go to the csa, & the baby would have my surname. He doesn’t sound bloody bothered anyway! X

  • Sounds pathetic. “If you do this, I won’t see the kid”… well 👋🏻 then.
    That’s his choice.

    He won’t help financially, hasn’t around during the pregnancy, and will only be around a few hours a week… and YOU have to bend to HIS demands?

    He needs to buck his ideas up or piss off.

  • Baby also doesn’t have to have his last name. But he can still be on the birth certificate


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