Could I have a private post please We have a large blended family raising 7 chi…

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Could I have a private post please

We have a large blended family raising 7 children, we have one child together who is almost 1year old, my husband has 3 children from a previous marriage where the eldest lives will us full time as she refuses to live with her mother she made that choice when she hit high school and the other 2 we have shared care so week about….

For years we have had issues with his ex and she has been a constant pain to deal with, she has dragged him to mediation so many times over the most trivial of things and everything we agree to is never enough as at the end of the mediation she Is wanting full custody of the younger 2, he is a good father and we have a stable home with lots of love. We have now found out that she is taking him to court and going for full custody, she has legal aid so none of this is costing her a cent… even though we both work and we have our own home, money is still tight and we really can’t afford to pay for a full blown court case…..also we are tired of the drama that comes with these 2 children, their behaviours over the years have been disturbing for not just their school but for our home, she spoils them and doesn’t discipline them, and as we discipline in our home, with time out and privileges removed, the back lash that we cop for disciplining from the kids and her is quite discusting…..
we have even been told by his ex that we need to tone down the level of affection that we show each other in our home as it makes these children feel uncomfortable…..(we hug and kiss and hold hands, it’s nothing inappropriate, and we feel it’s healthy for the children to see us loving each other this way). My husband has also been told that these two children need to come before all the other children in our home as they are hurting…..
when we speak to the girls about it they deny it and state that it’s all their mother, but it makes no sense that she just pull this out of thin air…….The girls have also been found to ease drop on private adult conversations (standing behind closed doors or corners in our house) and gone back and shared them with their mother who then turns around and bombards us with texts about what she has been told, …I know in my heart as a mum you shouldn’t give up on your kids, and these girls are being manipulated into playing their mothers games but when it’s affecting the harmony and structure of your own home and the other children in our home, when should enough be enough and we just let her have them full time…. they are 10 and 8…. should we fight for them and spend the next 8 years going through this hell with their mother or just let her have them and hope they come back when they figure their mother out?
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