Hi can I have a p.p. On behalf of a friend ( so no bashing please as the questio…
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Hi can I have a p.p. On behalf of a friend ( so no bashing please as the question is not directed from me).
So my friend (a male) had a one night stand and ended up getting this girl pregnant (she apparently claimed to be on contraception. He knows he should have protected himslf in hindsight). He was completely unaware of the whole pregnancy as the woman didn’t even let him know. He has just received a Facebook message claiming that he now has a child and has to pay child maintenance. He is unsure how he feels about all of it and is a little suspicious as the woman had only now contacted him and only seems concerned with money. He has said that he wants a DNA test ( to which she has said she will agree to) and if the child is his then would gladly provide for it. He doesn’t want to give the woman money physically as he said he can’t be sure she would actual use it for the child and is wondering whether he would be able to provide some weekly essentials for the child and put an amount in an account for the child when it is older. Does anyone know if this is allowed. He also wants to know his rights of access to the child and being on the birth certificate as he says he refuses to pay for a child that he will have nothing to do with.
Thanks for any advice x
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Once DNA is done he will know for sure and I’m not being funny but the comment “how does he know she’s even spending it on the child” annoys the hell out of me!! As a mother you’re providing all the time for your child (or you should be) so yes the money given by child maintenance may not go straight on the kids but may go on something like food, water, electric or something that the mother may need after she’s forked out a shitload more!! For example my ex currently pays 20 a week, it’s dropping to £3 a week soon because he’s lied about his income (but that’s a whole other story) doesn’t even touch supporting my child!! So no! And also maintenance and contact are two different things!
I’m sorry doesn’t know if she will spend it on the child??? Is she already buying food? Nappies? Clothes? Electricity to give it hot baths everyday? Rent to keep them in a home? Spend it on themselves I’m sorry for your friends “unknowing situation”but come on men of 2017… you have unprotected sex you can make a baby… if your not going to wrap it up, be prepared for the consequences. I hope he can build a relationship, but don’t penalise the child by putting money in an account that the child will never see. They grow fast they need a lot of things!!!
Child maintenance money is given for day to day living and that includes food, milk, bills and anything baby needs. As it was once said in family mediation, if the mother in this case spends some on herself then it still all gets spent on babs but out of her own pocket. He wouldn’t be able to put the money in an account unless she and himself are civil and with her go ahead. It shouldn’t be in a account as like I said its for day to day living and toward cost of raising a child. See if he can chat with her as they can come to an arrangement between them without cms where he can buy goods for Babs. If that happens make sure it’s in writing and signed as proof he has been paying maintenance of some kind incase she claims he hasn’t in the future.
Maybe he could just put some money to one side if she goes through child maintenance then he can cover his back by paying any he’d owe and just get dna test done there’s nothing much else more so if it maybe not his as he’d not want to pay for someone else’s child
Just because she got pregnant doesnt mean she lied about being on contraception!
Tell him to sort out the DNA test first and then go from there.. The maintenance money will go to her to provide for the child
They need the DNA test, if he isn’t on the birth certificate she cannot just claim CsA or what ever it’s called now… she has to prove he’s the dad… if it is proven, that he is he will have to give her whatever money the CMS say he has to pay. He can only gain access rights through court and after the DNA
I personally completely understand not wanting to give money . I would provide vouchers for a supermarket or mothercare etc. Yes I’m sure she is paying a lot for the child but she may also spend £50 a week in the pub and maybe he doesn’t want to fund that x
If the child comes back his then yes he can buy stuff and give her it but I’d keep all receipts as proof and so she can’t take anything back.
If the father provides weekly essentials (like the op says he wants to) like nappies, food and everything else babies need, then I don’t see why he should also hand over money as well. If he’s also putting money into an account as well, then that’s plenty. Wanting money as well is just pure greed. He is only responsible for half of baby’s needs, the mother should provide the other half
If she goes to csa after dna he wil have to pay for the child end of but if they can come to arrangements together an she doesnt go to csa then yes he could buy nappies milk wipes weekly witch would save mum a lot of money men always use the same excuse how do i no shes spending it on the child a child/children cost a lot of money nappies wipes milk shampoo clothes toys it all adds up so he’s best bets to get on good terms with baby’s mother so he can buy what she asks of him
Money into a account for when the child is older is not going to help the child upbringing.
If u get dna through court and its proven his baby he can apply to go on the birth certificate x
If she goes for cms and he’s proved to be the father then money will go to the mother..
Csa will provide dna test then it’s all above board