Hi can i have a ppp? Llooonngg story sorry Ok so ive been single for almost 3yrs…

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Hi can i have a ppp?
Llooonngg story sorry
Ok so ive been single for almost 3yrs now i split from my kids dad when i was 9wks pregnant (mutual decision) just the past 8 9 months i bn dating…ready to settle down again.
I have this feeling i should never put myself out until after 3months of dating or more (basically until i feel ready to) so in total ive had 3 dates….1st 1 was a total get to fuck guy….hands everywhere after 10mins then told me was my round 🙊 second guy was really nice i really took to him we had sooo much in common but when i didnt give him it he says tht he cant go with some1 without it despite the fact i told him at start gd things come to people who wait. And 3rd 1 i was with we wer together for 4months and getting on amazing and cos i didnt feel upto it 1 night hes on the huff 🤔 i have personal reasons about y i hate sex. Ive never told these to any1 ive been with apart from long serious relationships…i was going to tell him tonight but the way hes acted has thrown me tht i dont think he deserves an explanation tbh. Ive always pleases a partner i love everynight!…as much as i hate it. I love him but just not tht day in n day out. Its a lot to do 1 night.
i was raped when i wad 9 years old still go to counselling but i dont think its all down to tht i just HATE sex.
I know a long story but some advise and no bashing would b much appreciated xx
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