Hi could I have a post please? I’m looking for someone to speak to in a simila…

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Hi could I have a post please?

I’m looking for someone to speak to in a similar situation to me.

I’ve been with my on/off partner for almost four years, we have a child together. Not long after I found out I was pregnant I also found out he was using hard drugs. The signs were there and I should have noticed but I had never been around anything like that before so even though I thought some things were a bit strange I never would have put it down to that.

Anyway, 3 years on and we have been on and off. There have been long periods of time where he hasn’t been using drugs, and then he will start up again and I will ask him to leave. Eventually when he can prove he’s not used for so long I will let him back.

I’ve never left him alone with our child even when I have known he has been clean as I wouldn’t take the risk – I have always hoped he would stay clean and I could regain trust in him and we could live like a normal family.

Of course by now I have learnt that a happy ending in these situations just isn’t that common. He has been clean again now for atleast 3 months, on Friday I just had a bad feeling and today it’s been confirmed. He doesn’t know I know yet but I’m gearing up for the row when he gets home.

I know I can’t go on like this, my daughter is getting older and it will start confusing her soon. I know that this has to be the last time and I’ve no other choice. I’m only young and I just want to be happy and I want my daughter to be the apple of my partners eye – not for drugs to be.

Could I message any of you who have been through something similar?

Please no bashing, I know I have to make the change if he won’t, and although I’ve given second chances I have never ever risked my daughter or put him before her. I just wanted a normal family and I stuck it out so we could all be together and I’m realising now that that’s never going to happen.

I know what I have to do just looking for support xx
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