Hi could you please post these for me. I need advice on what other mums would do…
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Hi could you please post these for me. I need advice on what other mums would do! My sons dad wants to take him on holiday abroad with his family. He’s worked it around my son starting school etc and there’s no logical reason for me to say no other than I have a horrible feeling something will happen and I’m in a different country 😞 I suffer with anxiety really bad, I worry about plane crashes, my son getting lost in the airport, kidnapped, terror attacks and kidnapping I know it seems really stupid but I’m sick with worry at the thought of him going 😞
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Poster reply – Could you please reply to my post x I’ve agreed for him to go 😞 already feel sick at the thought but Thankyou for the nice understanding comments x I am being selfish but I can’t help it 😞
Sorry but I’m with the dad, I understand ur scared, but then I don’t think your son should miss out on a holiday with his family. It would be ashame. And maybe u can enjoy some you time whilst he is away. Xxx
Wow!!! That dad is being amazing and totally understanding. Your fears are natural but you will always have a first time to get over. Enjoy your time and peace eat chocolate all day in your pj’s enjoy going for a.pee in peace. Embrace it rather than fear it xx
Whilst I agree with others, being a sufferer of anxiety myself, I also see it from the other side. I also have intrusive thoughts & irrational fears, especially when it comes to my children & you can’t just snap out of it. I wouldn’t let my mother in law even push my daughters pram because I was so scared of her taking my daughter away & didn’t leave my daughter with her own Dad for even 10 minutes because I had visions of him dropping her & I had panic attacks. Please get some help from your doctor with your anxiety. Feel free to inbox me if you want too x
Its his dad im sure he noes how to look after him especially with him having his family there aswell and also hes ndot going to be the only child there hes got someone with him.. uou are kind of being selfish because if it was you that was taking him and his dad saying about him flying with you everyone will be like oh dont listen to him n tell him your taking him… when your child grows up he will look back on the pictures and think oh how come im not in any family photos and then his dad has to explain to him thwn that you would never let him go away all because of your fears.. let him go and spend that quality time qith his dad and grandparents x
Here’s something to ask yourself, how would you feel if he said you couldn’t take your son on holiday? My kids have just been on holiday with their granny and I missed them like mad but it was an amazing experience for them and they had a great time. I know it’s hard but you have to put the wee one first
I understand your fears but you can’t wrap your kids up in bubble wrap, would be different if it were the other way around. His dad seems so reasonable and understanding so count yourself lucky on that one. Of course as his mum you’ll be worried but let him spend important time and events with his dad, it’s not right that he misses out.
That man does sound lovely bless, doesn’t sound like he’s getting angry even though you can tell he’s annoyed.
Personally I too would be terrified of my kids not being with me too, they don’t leave me for long let alone leaving the country.
I understand your fear 100% as I too would hate this situation.
Only resolve I would see in this is the agreement that you get full contact details of the hotel, plus everyone with them… Plus all flight details, just so you can check.
You don’t mention the age of your son but if he’s old enough maybe make sure he knows himself what to do if he’s lost ect.
Another option, write contact details in the child’s clothes- on the labels & such, that’d help on the ‘just incase’ situation
My 3 children 7 5 and 3 are off to the south of France with there grandparents this summer and despite my fear of flying I cannot afford to take them abroad this year and by not letting them they would miss out on fantastic holiday full of memories so mine are going and there really looking forward to it xxx
You’re being slightly selfish and punishing your child by putting your fears before his happiness and his dad’s. He is in capable hands and will be safe
Dad has promised he will keep in touch. Enjoy the break!
I totally understand how you are feeling think I would be the same, but I would put my child first and unless there’s reason to believe his dad won’t keep him safe you need to let him go! Why don’t you plan something the same time he is away to keep you busy! What I would give for my daughters dad to take her away he goes with his girlfriend twice a year but never includes her! So in that sense you are really lucky 🙂 how old is your son? X
I’m with the dad. Let him go. It’s a life time chance and not fair for him to miss out because your a worried mum. I understand your worries. I really do. But he will keep in touch be with a lot of family members and like you say you have no real reason. Xx
As hard as it maybe I think your wrong for not letting him go my son went on holiday with his nan and gramps and believe me I had the same worry as u i was extremely anxious to but dad will keep him safe just as my son’s grandparents did him he’s missing out on a great opportunity there if u decide it’s no dad has promised to keep in contact I really think u should let him go x
I too I’m very much like you. I’d hate for my kids to go abroad where I can’t get to them if anything happens. But reading them messages make me think us mums do over protect our kids. He’s going to be in safe hands with his dad so I would definitely consider it even if it mean a few sleepless night for you. Js think of the excitement when he calls you each day to let you know what he’s been doing. Xx
I understand if been here my oldest is 12 now he went on his first holiday with nana and papa to Turkey when he had only just turned 2 he goes every year and every year without fail I was a big huge blubbering mess I would have panic attacks an all sorts it’s taken me 10 years to not cry this year was first I haven’t when he left…… I let him go because being a single parent I could never afford to take him myself and I didn’t want him missing out he’s done everything from safari jeep rides to village tours seeing mosques in Turkey to deep sea diving banana boats u name it he’s done it over past 10 years he’s seen the tourist side to Turkey bit also the cultured side he can speak fluent Turkish now I’m so glad I caved an let him have these opportunity x
You cant stop him going because of your insecurities any of those things can happen when he’s with you but you still do stuff with him as much as it will be hard for you its cruel to stop him experiencing the world x
He seems a good dad and quite understanding like u say there’s no reason he carnt take kids on holiday apart from how u feel and he understands that think u should let him go and think positive and all the fun he will have its natural to worry try put that aside he said he will keep in contact x
He seems a genuine dad and seems like he would take good care of him, I also worry terribly about things like this but like he said he will miss out big time it will be unfair on him to not let him go xx
Honestly he’s his dad let him go, he has a point u are being a bit selfish because of ur fears and the child would miss out, I understand u are anxious and I use to be like that myself still am when the kids go on holiday but I wouldn’t stand in their way of having fun it wouldn’t be fair xx
I have just went through the same, my sons grandmother and grandfather just took my 9 year old boy to Spain for two weeks. I was absolutely crapping it! It was hard not to let my feelings get in the way. My son is now home, I’m glad I let him go, he had a fantastic time and wants to go back next year x
his dad seems amazing and he’s keeping his calm and understanding your fear. wish my kids dad was like that of i told him no I’d get all kinds of words thrown at me. But im sure he will phone you everyday if you ask your son will be missing out because of you xx
You not being selfish your being a mum I would hate it if my sons dad took him on holiday but I couldn’t stop him as I take him on holiday it’s so hard letting go of the control. I’m glad you let him go he will have a great time xx
I’ve always suffered anxiety too…and i know what you feel…but to be honest,I can’t not be on his side…try to compromise and ask for extra texts/pics/phone calls.. Let your kid go…xxx
I would be petrified and i would say no but my kids dad allowed me to take them abroad and i know in future i would have to do same aslong as you have good communication then let him go. We stayed in contact via video chat and texts so we were in contact all day.
IF THE only fears u have are due to your own insecurities, the only one losing out will be your son. I cant imagine how hard it will be for you, I hate it was daughter is a nannys for a few hours, but with the technology available u could know what he was up to at any point in the day. Make stipulations that will help put your mind at ease, ie calls before boarding, landing, arriving at hotel, bedtime etc and day by day you’ll start to relax. xx