I’ve only been a mother for 3 and a half weeks and I completely love my daughter…

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I’ve only been a mother for 3 and a half weeks and I completely love my daughter but I hate every other aspect of my life. I have cried almost every single day since 20 weeks pregnant and thought I would be okay after I had bubby but I think I realised the way I’m feeling isn’t going to get any better. I don’t want to talk to my fiancé or family because I don’t want them to be angry with me or think I can’t handle being a mother because that isn’t the problem. I know I’m not okay but I hate talking about how I feel or what’s going on in my head because I am petrified on vulnerability because I don’t want to look weak or get hurt anymore. I don’t want to be hugged or touched or even kissed by my fiancé. My fiancé and I have been intimate less than 5 times in 6 months. I barely talk to him anymore because I’m so miserable and resentful. I won’t let any friends come and see me and bubby because I don’t want to talk anyone. All I want to do is look after the baby and stay in bed with the covers over my head on my own.
I just want some advice on how to feel better because I hate waking up every morning wishing I hadn’t. Because I feel like a bad mum when I think to myself I hate my life. What can I do?
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