Motherhood is isolating.
Hours spent in the dark bouncing or breastfeeding a baby alone. Day upon day stuck in the house with sick kids in winter.
Motherhood is monotonous.
Change them, feed them, wash them, clean up after them. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Laundry, well, that alone is insurmountable.
Motherhood is invisibility.
When everyone else’s needs scream louder than yours. It’s remembering to eat breakfast despite catering for the individual preferences of everyone else. It’s eating the leftover cut outs from your kids star shaped sandwich or the rejected items from the dinner plate. It’s cleaning the lounge every night because otherwise it will do your head in, despite everyone else taking little notice. It’s changing the roll on the toilet paper holder instead of leaving it on the floor. It’s making sure everyone has what they need for the next day to make the morning run smoother despite no one else giving it a second thought.
Motherhood is sacrifice.
It’s having an audience to pee, it’s juggling times to have a shower. It’s fitting what you can into the time the baby naps. It’s getting home from work and barely having a moment to breathe before you switch from one ‘hat’ to the other. It’s when we struggle to fulfil our cups of sacrifice with self care, which is like a bandaid for the gaping wound that is a lack of hands on societal support and the missing close knit community or tribe like times of old.
Motherhood is comparison.
Its insta lunchboxes and designer labels. It’s who subscribes to what label of parenting and pro versus anti, this versus that. It’s a concern of not being enough or being reminded of “what happened in my day” or “I turned out ok despite….”. It’s fear and threats of spoiling babes or creating rods for backs. It’s graphs or averages, measuring against some status quo. It’s fighting the tide to try and listen to your own inner instincts and your babes individual preferences and needs.
Motherhood is triage.
Knowing who to tend to first, which order to address the whinging. It’s knowing when encouragement and support are needed and when you need to jump in and help out.
Motherhood is a balancing act.
It’s remembering to be present in the moment with our kids and knowing which are times you can snatch to achieve a critical task. It’s trying to grab seconds of self and still attempting to be selfless in our intentions. It’s balancing trying to achieve things and being interrupted continuously to the point where it is impossible to finish anything.
Motherhood is a head fuck.
When you feel like you have no more to spare, you still have to. When you feel so touched out and like you actually might scream if someone doesn’t get off your boob immediately, but you still do it. When you don’t know if you’re doing anything at all right but the fact you are actually questioning that, in and of itself actually means you’re a good mum, even if you don’t believe it.
Motherhood is appreciating the small things.
The fact you managed to survive another day. You dealt with a million tantrums or a kid questioning that keeps pushing every boundary. You managed to keep a fearless toddler alive despite their best efforts otherwise (stop fucking jumping off the bookcase kid! :/ ). You handled what seemed insurmountable when you got out of bed, already tired, and did what you needed to get to the next bedtime.
Motherhood is wonderful.
Little feet and hands. Tiny people with a little bits of you in them. Cuddles and kisses. Peacefully sleeping faces. “I love you”s and “Mama you’re the best”s. It’s pride and joy and oh so much love.
What is motherhood for you at the moment? 😍