Not sure if this is allowed but pp please x So not sure we’re to start basically…

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Not sure if this is allowed but pp please x
So not sure we’re to start basically I am ruining my relationship on 10 years long story short we split up a few years ago briefly wasn’t the nicest thing but honestly was more than amicable so no hate there but we got back together we genuinely love each other he is now smitten with me he’s amazing with me and put up with a lot from me but I just keep going off on one mental health isn’t the best but cannot pin point what is wrong with me , I apologised for going mental at him the other night and he said it’s like I don’t care about anything anymore especially not myself. He said I’m very distant don’t want to be touched or neAr anybody but the way I feel changes very quickly about everything one minute it’s great next minute I want to throw it all away I hate being who I am but don’t know why I am the the I am or what I can do about it ? My head constantly spins can never relax I’m always under pressure even if it’s me putting myself under stress i am very hard on myself 9/10 I am on my own with the children because he works away but to be honest I do like my own space I work and uni and being a mum life is really hectic x please help I really don’t want to lose him but now when I kick off I genuinely apologise but it’s days later as I no longer feel the guilt straight away what Can I do ?
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