Ok, so around 7 years ago things were very shitty between me and OH, we’d just b…

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Ok, so around 7 years ago things were very shitty between me and OH, we’d just bought a house and he spent Fri-Mon morning in the pub with no contact or care for me. One night he even tried to get into the house at midnight with his friend. When I refused to let them in he actually smashed the front door window and ran away! (being 25 at the time!!) these staying out over weekends and me feeling like a skivvy through the week went on for a good couple of years. We’d break up then make up. I found messages that he’d joined ‘hooker’ sites and messaged a girl local to us to meet for sex – still denies it to this day that he met her in the end. He was very secretive with his phone and actually smashed it to pieces because I tried looking through it one night when he’d come home drunk after work one eve. Anyway, fast forward to about 6 months after all this, I buy a new car and get chatting to the salesman – nothing in it, just friends. Wasn’t even that good looking but was nice to actually talk to someone. As weeks went on we talked more and I’d opened up about problems in my relationship and he too was in a relationship so was all just on a friendship level. I saw that my relationship wasn’t healthy and after being out all weekend once again I decided to kick him out. I went for a drink with said man, and told him I’d split with OH. Things started happening with the other guy and so I moved back in with parents and let ex have house. couple months later me and OH patched things up and he read through my emails between me and this salesman and in his words ‘I cheated’ Coming back to now (7 years later) we have a 3 yr old and 1 yr old. Problems are still there in his head that I cheated on him and I want this other guy still and I’m not intimate with him because of it, and I’m with him because the other guy got married to his gf. He says things feel forced and he’s not happy and I tricked him into have the children because although he knew of the ‘affair’ he only found out a yr ago that I #wispers# gave him a blow job. So now it’s all dredged up again. I’ve spent nights at home and for him to return from pub calling me slag and slut, he’s only here cause of the kids, not to talk when out because all I do is talk shit! and bringing all the past up again. The reason I don’t want sex every night and only once or twice a week is because I work full time, look after two toddlers, do all shopping, HW, cooking etc and have no help. He’s suggested counselling and moving out for abit. What are your thoughts. Can you get over something like this? He’s gotten us around 25k into debt with gambling over the last 3 years and he’s now just said it’s because of me because he’s trying to be ‘good enough’ for me. Said he took me to Paris 5-6 yrs ago to try impress me but I wanted was to be wined and dined (doesn’t everyone)?? He thinks he can take everything from me and give nothing back. I’ve said that if he helped more then I’d be less tired and want to be intimate yet this is my problem??
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