Please can I have a private post please…. I’m not to sure why I’m writing thi…
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Please can I have a private post please….
I’m not to sure why I’m writing this but to be honest I think it’s because I feel completely alone. My husband & I keep on arguing he’s a very blunt and to the point person I’m a very shy person who’s suffers from anxiety & depression…he can say things to me which build up he’ll tell me to shut up in joking ways which can them become not a joke he will tell me I’m being confrontational when I feel that I’m just trying to stand up for myself! Today we’ve had an argument and I lost it and screamed at him I just hit a point where I was being sworn at or told to stop talking because it’s always me that’s bringing him down because I’m always depressed and mopping around…I think the reason I snapped tonight was because for once I was actually ok but he was being snappy with me, I hit a point where I was fed up of being blamed for bringing everyone down which I know I can but I honestly don’t do intentionally, all I want to do sometimes is step back because I know I can be miserable, I know I can over analyse things, I panic about everything little thing and I find it draining myself so I understand other people will too. But tonight because I snapped and shouted it’s now all completely my fault, the fact we always end up arguing is because I always end up shouting…I do I know I do but there’s only so much I can take so many times I can be told that I’m miserable or be told how to do something before I snap…but he doesn’t see this at all…he sees it’s hard to live with me therefore he has every rite to snap at me, get annoyed or he blunt with me. Maybe it is all my fault maybe I am to much of a problem but if I say there are times I know that I’m miserable I would love to just step back and get out of everyone’s way because I don’t want them to be miserable he tells me how selfish I am?! I’m not saying I want to leave I don’t I do love him, he used to just give me a hug but now nothing because it’s all my fault. We have a 4 year old together who we adore I don’t want her feeling down or hear me shout but I feel like I’m just crumbling like I’m making everything just fall apart…I don’t want to do that I want to feel happy, I want to make everyone happy but I’m failing miserable I just don’t know what else to do. I take antidepressants I try to snap myself out of things but I think I need to face facts that I’m messing everything up for everyone. I’m sorry please don’t judge I such feel that I need to write stuff down. Sorry but any advice is welcome.
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