Pp I’m so depressed right now Nothings triggered it off. Nothings changed I j…
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Pp
I’m so depressed right now 😞
Nothings triggered it off. Nothings changed I just feel so alone and helpless. Just laying here thinking what is my actual purpose in life? I’m 26 and I haven’t achieved anything in my life bar my children. I wish I could be this person with a great job nice house etc. I really want to start something at uni but I literally have no support for my kids what so ever my daughters at school and my son’s at home as he’s only 1. But when I ask family to help me out with minding him even for a few hours in the morning to I go study they make me feel like I’m asking them for a million pound “you had them you’ll rare them”. “That’s what you get for laying on your back” these are jokes to them but they hurt me. Or mum would say I done it with 5 of use so how can you not do it with 2? My oartner is only here 4 days are month due to work he doesn’t seem to understand how I feel no matter how well I explain it. I HATE my body I’m a fat mess 😢 I feel so bloody ugly in my own skin. I’m a size 12 but my excess skin is horrible. . I’m on depression tablets and have been for 5 years but now I don’t feel like tgere working. Has anyone any ways I can try and get past this like techniques or different ways to help me with my self esteem ❤
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Could u reply please..
Thanks ladies, I know I have more than mist people, I never take things for granted because I know people pray for the things I have. My kids are so happy my partners happy and my family but within keeping everyone else happy I’ve lost my own happiness. I never show my emotions to anyone as I feel weak when I do. I feel like I’m supposed to be the strong one for everyone but I’ve finally broke. I catch myself day dreaming of how I could have done better and got a good job etc when I was younger. These things I can’t change as there in the past. My routine is the same everyday and I feel like this is what it’s gonna be like for the rest of my life. Come 8pm I’m knackered I raise the kids on my own basically bar the one day a week when my hubby is home and does it. It’s tough I’m not gonna lie, people say ur not fat because I’m a size 12 it’s the overhang I hate like I have shocking amount of access skin I’ve got from a size 16 to a 12 and I thought I would love myself more because of what I’ve achieved. I don’t look in a mirror by any means other than an compact one for my make up. I’m going to look into open uni and see what’s available for me. Thanks
You can study at open university you can get qualifications just like a normal uni but you do everything at home and communicate with other students and your teacher online. I have 2 children under 2 and no family to help and my friends have kids of their own so can’t work or go to a brick uni so I’m studying with open university 😊 it is really good I get my work done when they’re sleeping and when my hubby finishes work to entertain them. I don’t have depression so don’t know how you feel but I suffer bad with anxiety but keeping busy and talking to people helps. I hope you feel better in yourself soon and you will get a good career you’re still young so you have plenty of time 😊
Your still so young, give your kids a bit time to grow then I promise it will be your time. You will go back to study what ever it is you want to do and love your life. In the mean time appreciate every day you spend with your little ones as one day they will have grown up and moved out and you will miss these days
Honestly where uni is concerned it’s not what’s it’s all hyped up to be. I’ve a 2 year old and I’ve just finished my first year. I reckon I see my daughter 1 or 2 days a week because of assignments and class and I’ve never been so stressed in all my life until I started, infact the stress has got that much that it’s effected my health. I’ve contemplated packing my degree in more times than I can actually count, but financially I’ve no other choice but to stay. But if it’s something you want to consider, you get childcare funded for after schools clubs, daycare ect if you have no other childcare x
You need to focus on yourself too, just because you are a mum doesn’t mean you can’t also be a woman and a person.
For studying, doing open uni course. I’m currently doing a law degree; I have a one year old son and I’m due to give birth to my little girl next month.
I study on nap times, after he’s gone to bed, when he’s eating I sit at the table and study whilst he eats etc. It can be hard occasionally but it’s definitely doable!
For exercising we go to a buggy bootcamp, a trainer just runs an exercise class where I can bring my son with me. Or you can do workouts at home, my little boy loves when I workout at home, he finds it hilarious and joins in with me. Running with the pushchair is always an option as well.
For the tablets if they aren’t working, why not come off them? Or speak to your doctor about it.
It’ll be hard to get started but once you are started and in a routine it’s so much easier. You’ll set a good example for your children as well x
You could look at it like this. Or you could try looking at it in another light. You have two beautiful healthy children. You yourself are healthy and young and have plenty of time up your sleeve to be able to still do all the things you want to do. You also have a husband who loves you and is providing for you. You aren’t doing it all on your own completely. Go for a walk in the sunshine with your children and just enjoy the simple things in life. Until then enjoy your babies and cherish the fact you can’t watch them grown up, your time will come and you will then be out there making a difference in the world. What you don’t know is you already are making a difference by raising two respectful children that will one day contribute to the world. Life’s not always that bad. Look at the positives! X
Look into mindfulness hunni xx it’s difficult but u will be OK xx unfortunately folk don’t understand how much words can affect u when u do have depression xx u got this far… Keep fighting xxx https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/074995308X/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1494086616&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=mindfulness+a+practical+guide+to+finding+peace+in+a+frantic+world#
Maybe bide your time, get an action plan together for when your kids are at school and then start. It might seem a long way off but having a plan sometimes helps x
Try and think of the positives you have going for you – I assume you’re healthy and you are blessed with two healthy, happy children? If so, then you already have a lot more than some people.
If you have a roof over your head and can put food on the table, that’s another thing not to be taken for granted.
I learnt soon after having my children that material things such as my car, my clothes, my image and the job status weren’t that important to me anymore… you’re luckier and more fortunate than you think xxx
Where abouts are you from? The local colleges where i am in northern ireland are great and you can even do a degree you just go one night a week for 3 years. Or if you want you can do it in less time but its usually 5 days a week but there is a creche to take care of your child for you. Also try to get out as much as possible like parent and toddler groups and even an excercise class for yourself to help with your body confidence. Im sure your family could manage an hour once a week for you to go to them. Hope you start to feel better soon.
When my 2 children were younger…I went to a local college and they proved childcare…I trained to b a teaching assistant and also did loads of computer courses….I did homework at night when kids were in bed…I was a single mum with no family help what so ever….I was good to get out and meet new people…not sure if this is something that can be done local to u x
I swear what ur writing ive been/going through. An anyone who says but uve got best than some who cant have children or their are people worse off than u… yeh thats true but just stfu because unfortunately when ur hurtin urself u only think about urself and ur own feelings. Feeling sorry for robert on other side of world with no food doesnt fix what ur goin thru (even tho yes its sad) because if that was the case then flippin all people who go thru shit wil be brushin their shoulders sayin “dont cry today margaret u feel fat and ugly but samanthas husband has left her for a giraffe” u do need to let it all out to someone who never going to judge. Try counselling hun… i mean what have u got to lose? Aside from never following samanthas footsteps lol xx
Have you maybe thought about courses through your local sure start children’s centre, they have creche facilities while you learn. It gives you a break while you learn during term time. I’m doing a support work in schools at mine which will help me to become a teaching assistant when both my girls are at full time school X
Do a distance learning course! I am doing a teaching assistant course and have a placement in school one day a week all the rest i do from home. I also work part time a couple of evenings a week in retail and i have 2 children 2 and 6 xx
This soubds harsh but u need to realise what u have, happy healthy children, ur not fat at a size 12 and so what if your just a mum, uou will have time when they are older to go to uni and get a job, you shouldnt feel the way you do, we should go out xxx
There are many study options, if you cannot find someone to mind your little one then I’d suggest online studying, distance learning. What is it you wish to study? I am a distance learning assessor so I can give advice and support where needed. With online learning you study at your own pace so there is less pressure and stress to yourself and have one to one with your tutor so you have support where and when needed.
Start an online course I felt very similar last year. Luckily I found a Groupon deal for the course I wanted to do and I literally do a few hours once the kids are in bed. But if you search 24+ loans they cover the cost of some college courses. A lot of colleges have nursery’s in them for the children to attend while you study. I’ve nearly finished my level 2 and I have just signed myself up for a placement to start so hopefully in September I can go back to work. It’s an awful feeling but the only person who can change it is you. Sit down and think about what you want to do and make it happen. I wish you tonnes of luck things will work out for you xx
Maybe start exercising? I find that the days i exercise I’m in a better mood. I found workouts on youtube and just do them at home, you don’t need any equipment either 😊
Do not lose hope!!! This is just one period in what will hopefully be a very long life and things getbeasier I promise you! I’ve been where you are now I was 18 with 2 children under 2, a single parent and as much as I adored them I felt like I had ruined my future and all is wanted to be! But the kids got older life got easier and people became more willing tobhelp as the children got easier! I’m now 25 and I start university in September which has been a dream I never ever thought I’d get to! But if you really want it you will get it one day it’s hard at the time because it feels like your stuck and full of self doubt but us women are stronger than we know! I returned to part time evening study at 22 mostly self study to get my level 3 diploma. I now have 3 children at 25 a full time job & am going to get my degree because it is doable no matter what people tell you! Hold your head high and try to enjoy your children now as they grow so fast and I wasted so much time hating who I was instead of being greatful for what I had! Time is fluid nothing lasts forever hold onto your dreams you’ll get there 😁 where theres a will there will eventually be a way xx
When my children were small I studied with open university ( study at home) and once they went to school/ nursery I did some volunteering. It helped me get my dream job and to get all I wanted in life. I too was a single mum at that time. It wasn’t easy but it was so worth it. You make your own luck in this life so come on what are you waiting for!!! Get registered and kick ass! X good luck in whatever you decide to do to make a future for you and your babies xxx
I feel very similar. I have son 4 at school and my daughter just turned 1. I’m nearly 25 & have done nothing since school except have my kids. So many people seem to do all sorts of things hobbies work social life etc and have so much time. I don’t know how they do it. I just about manage find 5mins to sit down and eat. I try to tell myself raising good happy kids is an achievement totally get how u feel though xx
Go to parent and toddler groups. They build your confidence but also helps your 1yr old as well and there’s York learning as well for maths and English qualifications x
Put your plans onto paper, set yourself small achievable goals to start with, do your research college/universities/ online courses and courses you can do at home, some colleges have nurseries on site that don’t cost much and your still close to your child maybe that’s an option to start with? Take no notice of the comments people make your doing a good job and you want to better yourself that’s something to be proud of, I’d also go and see your gp about your depression and meds and go from there x
Go to the open university website or ring student support! It is amazing! X
I’m doing my degree through the open university and I have a little girl, feel free to message me if you want some more info on it 😊