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Private post please.. Im 18 years old and all my friends have had sex but I feel…

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Private post please.. Im 18 years old and all my friends have had sex but I feel like theres this pressure to do the dirty myself.. There is a fella ive been with a few times but im too nervous due to my physical looks..i keep thinking he’s only been chatting to me etc because he feels sorry for me 😐 .. i would like to loose my virginity before college starts but with someone i care for ..unfortunately I don’t think that’ll happen within 3 months! I simply don’t know what to do
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