Private post please. Ive been with my wife for a year, lived with her since Jan…

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Private post please.

Ive been with my wife for a year, lived with her since January, married since August, known each other 25yrs.

When we got together her ex was having the 2 kids a cpl times a month overnight (often changing plans last minute and letring kids down), soon after we got together i found out that he had missed 23 maintenance payments in 50 (£180 a month), so we approached him about this and he said he couldnt afford to pay anymore, if we wanted him to have them then WE had to pay his petrol, obviously that didnt happen, his dad now pays his monthly maintenance to atop us going to CSA, and we told him if he couldnt afford to see his kids he could only have them fri-sun once a month which was fine by him. The 10yr old has Autism which his dad has no understanding of and has no interest in understnding, he has never asked how the kids do at school, never asks how peadiatric/psycology appointments go and generally shows no interest.

2 weeks ago we found out his dad sends him £40 a week (£20 for the children and £20 towards cinema/swimming/zoo etc etc), BUT he never takes the kids out of the house, turns out they have chips to share and a sausage each on saturdays and maccies on a sunday. So basically hes stealing around £150 a month from his own kids.
Weve told him the children were not to sleep together as the 10yr old boy is very advanced and starting to hit puberty very early so no appropriate to be sharing with 7yr old sister aa jes struggling to understand puberty due to his autism. Which hes refused to arrange them to sleep seperately when all it would mean was that him and his gf would have to sleep seperatley 2 nights a month!!
Weve just told ‘dad’ that as he will not sleep them seperately that he will only now have them the first saturday of the month from 9-5.

His dad is disgusted by him and is stopping sending him money. We think that if hes not getting his dads money he will stop contacting the kids.

Should we feel guilty?
What do we tell the kids when they start asking, why dads not ringing?

10yr old wont be overly fussed but 7yr old thinks sun shines outta his arse.

Sorry its long winded
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