Private post please what would you think/feel 3 years me N my partner have been …

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Private post please what would you think/feel 3 years me N my partner have been together after a year I fell pregnant and he proposed after being. A single mum for 3 years due to bad dv and being adopted it was like a dream came true I bought my wedding dress bridesmaid dresses ect then our son was born sleeping at 34 weeks and our relationship took its toll and I cancel d the wedding he’s completly gone off the rails since our son I got council in he didn’t he pushed me away and said things like he wanted to kill himself I tried my up most to keep it working and we tried again and fell pregnant he bailed on me through the pregnancy and I pretty much did it by myself this cause major arguments which made him walk even more he still refused to get hekp he turned so distant and cold to me and I got severe pnd he was horrible sayin horrible things like accusing me of hurtjn our daughter on purpose because she got a hair rapped round her finger and calling Mr a shit mum I got council in again he didn’t I still couldn’t take. My engagement ring off it was a memory of our son and my hope for finakt a family, in December it broke the stone fell out and I was devastated at the time we were working on the relationship and he said forger the engagement let’s do it properly and rebook the wedding we were getting on so well I threw myself into it booked the registery place for the do photography ect then he changed his mind because he once again started to be distant and told me the whole weddings a joke and a laughing stock it broke my heart but I cancelled it again he said he wanted to take it slow and buy me a engagement ring and work on the relationship so we did but month after month despite him asking him to buy hundreds worth of stuff he’d get paid and buy himself stuff and every month it would cause a argument so fast forward 7 months he’d moved in and we were OK then I found out I was pregnant and he lost it told me he didn’t want it to get rid that I’m a shit mum its my fault and if the baby was with anyone else hednwant it he then moved back to his mums and ended it he turned up and said its because of the way his mind is and that on our holiday (tommorow) he was planning on buying a ring taking me out and proposing in the beach but because were split up hr won’t but he wants to take it slow and he’s not ready to be engaged and hek propose again when he’s ready even if that’s next year so iv ogt upset and he’s called me childish immature and a joke because iv said to have 3 children to someone cancel a wedding twice then get told he wants to date for at least a year is degrading he’s walked out sayin this is exactly why he won’t because I’m ignirrant to how everything is I no I shouldn’t even want it and he’s said this baby changes nothing because he didn’t plan or want it so its not gonna make him be engaged tocme because he jus doesn’t want it
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