Sting Zing-Read The Label First
Honestly I’ve tried to write this so many times
Guys I’m crying. Fucking CRYing
We got given samples in line at like 6 this morning at the Sephora opening. Human got super excited by one in particular
I looked at it. It was called Sting Zing and it had little jellyfish all over it. I assumed (silly me) that it was one of those gloss lip plumpers
You know? Put it on your lips and it stings the shit out of them – to make them swell… So they look cute? 🙄🤦🏻♀️
“Mm no, I think that’s for your pimples”
“Are you sure? Coz I think it’s for your lips”
“Nah, I’m pretty sure, it’s like – sting or zing your pimples, you know?”
Yeh ok, I don’t think so. But who am I to argue right? And there was nothing on the package about what it actually did
We move on, she lives her best life – calculator in hand trying to figure out how she’s going to blow more money in one go than she ever has before. It might sound weird to be proud of a kid for buying make up – but she earned every dollar that she spent and my heart was so full 🖤
Anyway after being home for awhile – she’s playing with all the samples and divvying them out. I leave her to it
Some time later
“Mum – my face is burning”
She sends me a photo. Ok, looks like she’s having a reaction, no big deal. My skins mental too
When I go to see her, her face looks wet. But weirdly only in patches – the patches where her skin looks like it’s literally burning off
“Ellie – is it still on your face?
“Yeh”
“What the fuck? – It’s burning your skin! Take it off – now”
“Well it’s supPOSED to sting – it means it’s working. Like, it’s CALLED sting zing”
“Uhh no – it means your having an allergic fucking reaction – go and take it off!”
“It’s really burning”
Her face is literally on fire at this point. And entiiirely bright red. Ok noww I’m getting a bit nervous
“It had jellyfish on the package”
Oh my god. I thought the pictures were cute but – they’re actually putting fucking jellyfish in this shit now? wild. Not surprising, but wild.
And now I’m like omg she’s having an allergic reaction to jellyfish venom all over her face and I don’t know what to do but I don’t want her to know that
So of course I go straight to google – and type in sting zing – and before I could finish my sentence – it finishes it :
“Sting Zing Lip Plumper”
Holy shit team. I’m actually passing the fuck awAY at this point – because this is the moment I realise she has literally just applied lip plumper – to her entire fucking face
Her entire face – EXCEPT her lips
I go on to find it’s vegan
“Ok it’s vegan, so it can’t be too bad -“
alllll of a sudden miss judgy eco is all :
“JUST BECAUSE ITS VEGAN, DOESNT MEAN IT DOESNT HAVE CHEMICALS”
Well it didn’t have chemicals – but it DOES have ‘hot pepper fruit extract’ and THATS why her face was on fire
Only – ONLY my child would do this. My friends would agree
She agreed
Can’t wash out what’s in the blood gf 💁🏻♀️
And also – I toldasoe gf – I godamm toldasoe
She’s fine – her face is fine. It’s completely gone away. She found it just as funny as we did 😂 And she now knows to google – what she puts on her bloody face 🤦🏻♀️
This photo was just the beginning lol – when she wakes up 🙄 I’ll get the better ones 😂
Credit https://www.facebook.com/growingahuman/
