Thank you!! Private post please and apologies for how long it is. Standard MIL …
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Thank you!!
Private post please and apologies for how long it is. Standard MIL post. I’ve been with my partner for 2 and a half years, and we are due our first baby in 4 weeks! Exciting stuff! However his mother… She lives in a rented property, and I’m not exaggerating when I say it’s disgusting. I want to use the word pride but I’m unsure if it’s the right term to use, but she has none of it. The walls are covered in mould (with no attempt to fix it. She doesn’t want to put money into a property that isn’t “theirs” ) — (irrelevant if you own a property or rent you should still attempt to keep it liveable). The bathroom has black mould all over the ceiling, the house smells of damp there are never any windows open. It’s just like a black hovel. I dread going over. I understand some properties are beyond help and need fixing by the landlord, but she doesn’t even attempt to clean or anything. It is self inflicted not due to the house.
My other half has told her countless times he will help do the whole place up, assist in decorating, make the place liveable at least and she just says “yeah…”. she’s off work so she doesn’t do anything apart from sit in that house so it’s not as if she hasn’t got any time.
I am due by baby anytime and my other half as made it very clear that our child will not be entering that house until it’s improved. But she’s kicked off. She’s more than welcome to come here, but none the less she’s kicked off that she won’t see her grandchild. This is her laziness setting in. But honestly she can’t drive anywhere ever as she’s always got a drink on the go, which is why she never comes here.
Are we being unreasonable? I’m very forgiving, patient and reasonable person, but now it’s do to with my first little newborn who’s spent 10 months growing inside me, we really don’t want the baby in that house.
My other half works 50-60 hours a week so hard to provide it’s not his responsibility to continue to offer but he still does because he’s so kind and thoughtful.
No bashing please we are really trying to make this work but it’s like talking to a brick wall and there’s no effort from her.
Am I being a dramatic new mum? Should I allow my child in that house without me or my other half there considering the state of it and alcohol on the go all the time? I just feel like I’m being a snob (which is far from me honestly) and it’s stressing me out. My mum was a single parent to 2 under two and the house was always spotless, she worked full time, we barely scraped by but she always made sure our standard of living was good. Hot meals every night I swear she never sat down and I admire her for that, so I’m finding it hard that someone can voluntarily live like that when she does nothing all day. We’re running out of excuses to politely decline any invitations to her house.
Any advice or similar situations would be amazing please! Like I said no bashing we aren’t being horrible or judgmental we just wanna help but it’s getting beyond that, and I don’t want it to escalate into my becoming a defensive mum when I have my little baby here, or a rift between our new little family and her.
Thanks in advance lovelies.
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