Boyfriend wants to be poly because he already has feeling for someone else. We just had a baby.
My boyfriend and I have been a monogamous couple for 12 years. I knew that he was interested in polygamous but he never pursued it because I did not think I would be able to cope with all my insecurities.
Last month my boyfriend told me that he has develop some strong feelings for a coworker (his employee actually) and he did not want to dismiss them this time.
surprisingly, I reacted rather well. I know that he loves me and that he doesn’t want to hurt me. I do not feel that my relationship is threatened by this other woman. He is my best friend and the love of my life. I want him to be happy and I will try very hard to accept his other girlfriend. I have already read some literature on the subject that helped me grow a lot. We are working hard on my insecurities.
The thing is we just had a baby, she is 5 months old.
We talk a lot about agreements that I would feel comfortable with. He can see her 2 nights per week and lunch with her once a week.
I do want to be the strong and positive woman but I can’t help but feel betrayed and abandoned when I am home taking care of our baby girl while he is out having fun and intimate moments with his other girlfriend. Will this feeling ever go away?! Should I work on that or is it normal to feel this way?
I feel the situation is really unfair because I too would like to go out and meet new people but it is actually impossible with our baby right now. I feel like I would like for him to wait untill our daughter is older so I can have more freedom. But at the same time, he already has feeling for someone and I would feel bad asking him to end it.
Also, I feel ashamed the way our polygamous adventure began because it feels as though he forced it on me at a very bad timing in our life.
I have no one in my entourage to speak to who I feel won’t judge us.