Can I have a pp please? I don’t really know where to start with this. Just need…

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Can I have a pp please?

I don’t really know where to start with this. Just need opinions haha. I was married to narc for 8 years and we have a son together. There was a few issues there with social services when we split over a year ago too. But I met someone new 7 months ago, he had a baby on the way but he stepped up and after a shady past has turned his life around and totally changed. Anyway things were going well but the last few months have been awful, not for any reason really just arguing a lot and not getting on. It started when I had to give evidence in court against my ex and he got found not guilty even when my son witnessed it then has gone from there. When his son was born he stopped here with us and had him more than his ex in the beginning but now as soon as we’re meant to have him I don’t want him here. Not because I don’t like having him cos I do, it’s just I make any excuse not to have him here so my partner goes to his mams with him. Just wondering if anyone else has ever experienced this and does it get better? I do love him and he’s spoken about marriage and a family ect (not yet but eventually) and I know I want it but my head just tells me I don’t believe him and it’s all an act but he’s cried in front of me it’s got that bad which isn’t his character. Have I rushed into another relationship too quickly? Is it too much too soon? I’ve been offered CBT to help deal with my ex and his abuse but refused it now in thinking was he right and is it me that’s the problem? I HATE feeling like this and want to go back to normal and things are getting better a bit but I feel horrible mot wanting his baby here when once over I would say yes that’s fine. I’ve been there since he was born and love him like I do my son. Just now my partner thinks I’m playing mind games cos one minute I want him and the next I don’t which isn’t true at all. We’re both very similar (same birthday ha) and very short tempered at times and I know I love him, just feel like I’ve got too much baggage and it’s not fair to take it out on him but it’s just my reaction after 8 years of hell. Sorry it’s long winded just don’t know what to do cos I feel horrible xx
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