Can i have a private post please. Basically my sister has 4 children, only 1 to …
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Can i have a private post please. Basically my sister has 4 children, only 1 to this guy she is with currently. Theres has been a lot of domestic violence involved etc and the children were taken from her and her mum took them. Shes going through courts who are going to assess whether they think she will keep them. She isnt getting any money for them whatsoever, my sister still claims for them how can this be stopped? Also my sister works in a home care job, surely if she has failed to protect her children she wont be able to protect elderly people am i right? Im guessing she hasnt told her work about whats gone but i think i need to
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Can you reply, both have been done for domestic violence. She is just as bad as her partner. Surely if her kids were seen as at risk she shouldnt be able to work with vulnerable elderly people until everything is over and there is a final outcome.
There is a lot more to this, it would of taken too long to write it all. Both were seen as bad as each other as she gave as good as she got the kids also told social services this. The children and her mum have been tortured, it isnt about wanting to punish her. Shes hardly the victim her children are the victims after what theyve witnessed! Spending her childrens money on drugs and alcohol which social services also know. Its disgusting and i want to know what support her poor mum can get!
One last reply please. The children went to her mum 12 weeks ago, it is going to court in july which is when her mum finds out if she keeps the children full time. In this 12 weeks she has struggled! Hence the reason me trying to ask for a bit of advice from a page full of parents. If i could get the children myself i would but this isnt an option as she has said she wants the children to go into care and not to any family members! What this so called “victim” and her partner have put these children through is awful but i will remember not to try get advice off this page again!
Sorry can you also add she has had a few previous convictions of violence and was lucky she got her job they gave her the benefit of the doubt thinking she had sorted herself out
Please can you reply, i tried to support her. I am seeing her mum go through so much stress struggling to provide for the children and she is worrying theyll be taken from her! So i want to know if theres any help she can get! Is this a support page or perfect parents who judge page
Does your sister need support from her family or have them destroying the tiny bit of life she’s managed to make for herself? It isn’t about failing her children she’s probably petrified of this man she’s with if the violence is that bad I’m going to assume she isn’t the one dealing out the violence because of social are involved the police will be too which would mean she wouldn’t have gotten the job because of it, while I agree she shouldn’t still get the money for the kids that aren’t currently in her care but the rest comes across like you want to punish her for what’s happened it isn’t always straight forward
She’s lucky her fate doesn’t lie with you really ud have her on death row 🙄 why don’t u keep ur nose out of her job An find a bloody hobby clearly to much time on ur hand or better still get a job in the care home so u can watch/stalk her
I still don’t get why you need to tell her work what is happening in her personal life unless she has harmed her children you should stay out of it.
Who needs enemy’s when they have family like you!
I had a similar situation before in terms of the money. I had care of my brother but my mum was still claiming for him.. I put a claim in for child benefit and child tax credits.
Because he was already on a active claim we were both written to and had to prove who had care of him so I was able to prove this with letters from school, doctors stating he was registered there and what date, social services letter stating they had visited the home and witnessed he was with me. My claim was approved and my mums stopped, she also had to pay all the money back from when he came into my care.
In a care home the only thing she has to declare is when police are involved or she has a criminal conviction. Ring the HMRC and tell them you about her claim and it will be stopped . I may be slammed for saying this but shouldn’t you be supporting her instead of being against her! I understand about the money thing and agree your mum should get it if she is caring for the children but why involve her work !
Unless your sister is placed on a POVA register I highly doubt her job will be effected, but correct me if I’m wrong, she’s your sister, so these children are your nieces/nephews? If so as a close family member why the hell are you intent on digging your very own sister into dirt rather than stand up and support her? Has she harmed her children? Has she willingly put her children in harm?? Jesus woman, who needs enemies when they have family like you!!? Blood is meant to be thicker than water, what ever agenda you have, take a look and think of the impact your actions could have.
Social services can also help her claim the right benefits for the children that she clearly needs and yes it’s wrong that mum still claims this money with the kids not being in her care but her job are aware of some of these issues and they still made the choice to take her on it isn’t for you to ruin it for her this job could be the first step for her to be trying to get out of the situation she’s in help her don’t slate her and try and ruin her more, no one said the children haven’t suffered but the point of your post was for her mum to get the money for the kids and you wanting to make her lose her job if you don’t like the replies you’ve gotten that’s tough people have given their honest advice but that doesn’t seem to be good enough because they aren’t backing you up on every little itch you have about your sister
Can’t believe all these nasty bitchy replays to this lady. Just hope none of you have a mum or grandparent being cared for by someone drinking and on drugs. Yes, support your family but if they don’t want it, you can’t. Those who are vulnerable, the children and elderly should come first and she has stated several times that they have tried to help and that has been rejected.
This is very sad. I have 3 sisters and no amount of poor decisions or wrong doing would stop me doing everything in my power to help both her and her children to get through this. No doubt she’s made rubbish choices but I can’t help thinking that you are talking mainly from anger towards her where your involving job, benefits etc
The children are in care for a reason but at no point should family stop helping each other. Never give up helping her and her children she may just surprise you and turn it around Just my pennies worth 😉
So not only is her world falling down around her ears,the one thing that’s stable, her job you are wanting to destroy that on her as well 👏🏻 good stuff!!! You are a family, families are supposed to stick together I have been in the position where you are now and she needs you more then ever now to support her when she sees no other way out you are her sister! Sisters are supposed to stick together not stab each other in the back!! I am gobsmacked with what I have just read really am
My husband has family members like this and it doesn’t work at well in the end, Domestic abuse is very complicated and still misunderstood in the community, my heart goes out to your sister as she is in a difficult position and shouldn’t have to prove she is the victim, you either fight back or give up and die so I for one am happy to see your sister fight back and get the credit she deserves, if it was an iron clad case there would be no court case as the children’s fate would have already been decided legally with social services, perhaps instead of back stabbing her maybe support should have been offered and help given to her and the children
Sorry but I fully know how the ss and court system works if they had cause of concern they would get a court hearing way before July.
I think this lady might of worded this wrong, maybe she’s trying to say that she is concerned about her clients because there is also drug use , violence and Excessive alcohol use. I see where your all coming from but maybe someone needs to ask this lady to explain more before everyone jumps to the conclusion that she is just being a bitch to her sister, I agree work should be left out but personally if this lady does have real concern and isn’t just being spiteful about her sisters clients she should make the right people aware as I know if something happened to a family member of mine because of this and no one mentioned it when she could of prevented it I would be furious but if she is just being spiteful then no don’t ruin your sisters chances of maybe getting back on track and pulling her life together because you don’t agree with some of the life choices she has made. As for the money if her mum applies for it with the back up of Ss she would get temporary benefits until been proven permanent.
Ignore any comments about being a horrible sister etc, the kids come first no matter what. Leave her job out of it. Get her mum to ring child tax and child benefit and explain then if any of the children are under 5 she’s entitled to income support hope this helps x
If she was that bad her CRB now known as DBS would raise a red flag. At least shes bothering to fight for her kids and working. Think if anything you should be helping her get her kids and back on the straight and narrow
My question is why aren’t you more supportive of your sister? Set her straight. Seems you trying your hardest to destroy her. No matter what I always support my sister. She needs help getting out of that relationship and get her kids back, what she dosent need is her sister being her judge
Sort out the finances regarding the children.
Keep your nose out of her work situation. That’s none of your business!
I think you need to mind your own business sister or not you sound like you want to tear her life apart
You call yourself a sister and you are doing all this to her .. poor girl hope her friends are more supportive
u need to inform tax credits child benefit that kids no longer in her care and there granny needs to apply to claim for them