Can I have a private post please? I need some help and advice. Three weeks ago I…
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Can I have a private post please? I need some help and advice. Three weeks ago I was in hospital in a lot of pain and bleeding, unknown to my husband and I I was fourteen weeks pregnant with a little boy however he had implanted into my caesarian scar. I was in a lot of danger and had to go to theatre to have the pregnancy removed, we didn’t even know if I was going to be okay. It was the most frightening time of my life. I can never have anymore kids now. We got to hold him a few days later and did him a funeral service. I can’t get over it, it’s all hit me like a ton of bricks. I’m blaming myself because the pregnancy was technically terminated, not miscarried. I still don’t have his ashes back and I want to go and sleep at the crematorium until they come back, I don’t want him to be there alone. Yesterday I had to go to the maternity unit to have a blood test to check my hormone levels have dropped and they haven’t dropped as quickly as they were expecting, so I’ve got to go back on Friday and if they still haven’t dropped I’ve got to have methotrexate, which if you know it, comes with risks of its own. Now this part sounds really petty, but my husbands family and friends are always on about his ex’s. They’ve been doing it since I met him years ago. His sister actually told me when she found out we were getting married I was just a rebound to him after his ex girlfriend and she then went on to say we were rushing into it (we have a 7 month old daughter and have been together for nearly three years) and that our wedding won’t be as good as his first one. It made me feel like our whole day was in competition with his last. Anyway, I’m scrolling down my newsfeed and one of his friends has the video and photos of my husbands wedding from years ago. I don’t know why it popped up on my newsfeed but I was honoured to see my husband cutting the cake, having his first dance and snogging another woman. It sounds totally pathetic, but with the state I’m in it’s made me worse. He doesn’t understand why I’m so upset, he thinks it’s merely just ‘not nice’ and that’s it, he says it doesn’t matter what anyone else says or thinks but he’s close to his friends and family. He and our little girl are the only things holding me together at the minute and seeing that has twisted the knife even more. I can’t cope, I don’t know what to do or where to turn 😭 How do I make him see how vulnerable I’m feeling? I need to make him understand because I need him more than ever.
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Aw sweetheart you poor thing . I’ve had 2 angel baby’s like you, its horrifying to have to give birth like that. You are very fragile at the moment and will be for a long time . Remember we all have a past it doesnt matter that he has been married before kissed others before . He is with you now and you have a future together. This kind of grief is messy and nasty seek help if you need to , talk it throu. . Sending you lots of love x
I think your unknowingly looking for a reason to push him away. Come off social media for a while, take some time as a family to recover. You need to calm down and look at the situation as a whole. He married you, he comes home everyday to you, he’s the father of your child. Hes ex doesn’t have anything you need or want because you need to look closer to home and see it’s all there. You’ve gone through so much which is not yours or your husbands fault don’t rip yourselves apart because it’s not your fault. It’s ok to be angry at the situation but don’t push each other away xxx